Self Doubt

How many of you out there struggle with self-doubt?  Sometimes I'm cruising along thinking I'm doing well and all of a sudden self-doubt creeps in!

For example, you remember when I met with that nutritionist and she told me that 117 was my "ideal weight"?  Well as I mentioned, my weight has been up some, and finally this weekend it dropped down to 117 and the last 2 days I've been at 117-118.  So you'd think I'd be happy, right?

But I'm on that weight loss site and there is a section under each person's name where you can put your  height, starting weight, your current weight and your goal weight.  So yesterday I was reading this one woman's post and I noticed that she lists her height as 5'5" and her goal weight is 120.  That puts her at a BMI of 20.8.  And my BMI is 22.1.  So this nagging little voice in my head starts telling me that this is too high of a BMI.  I check and I would have to lose another 7 pounds and weigh 110 to be at a BMI of 20.8.  I started wondering if I should try to lose some more weight.

WHY do I do this to myself?  I feel good at 117.  I wear a size 2.  I think I can maintain around this weight.  So WHY OH WHY do I need to compare myself to other people??  

So I have decided that a new goal - well, it's really not even a new goal, but an ongoing goal that I haven't been putting much effort into - is to STOP compaing myself to other people and just to be happy when I feel good!!  

Anyone care to join me on this quest of self-acceptance instead of self-doubt?  The danger, of course, is complacency.  There is a fine line between accepting oneself and justifying unhealthy habits because you aren't comparing yourself to other people.  I think common sense is appropriate here!  

So this is where I stand - I'm okay at my weight.  I DON'T NEED TO LOSE ANY MORE.  I am healthy and strong.  I am smart and capable and I am not defined by a number on a scale.  SO THERE.  Now, if I can just convince myself that these words are true!!  LOL