How many of you out there struggle with self-doubt? Sometimes I'm cruising along thinking I'm doing well and all of a sudden self-doubt creeps in!
For example, you remember when I met with that nutritionist and she told me that 117 was my "ideal weight"? Well as I mentioned, my weight has been up some, and finally this weekend it dropped down to 117 and the last 2 days I've been at 117-118. So you'd think I'd be happy, right?
But I'm on that weight loss site and there is a section under each person's name where you can put your height, starting weight, your current weight and your goal weight. So yesterday I was reading this one woman's post and I noticed that she lists her height as 5'5" and her goal weight is 120. That puts her at a BMI of 20.8. And my BMI is 22.1. So this nagging little voice in my head starts telling me that this is too high of a BMI. I check and I would have to lose another 7 pounds and weigh 110 to be at a BMI of 20.8. I started wondering if I should try to lose some more weight.
WHY do I do this to myself? I feel good at 117. I wear a size 2. I think I can maintain around this weight. So WHY OH WHY do I need to compare myself to other people??
So I have decided that a new goal - well, it's really not even a new goal, but an ongoing goal that I haven't been putting much effort into - is to STOP compaing myself to other people and just to be happy when I feel good!!
Anyone care to join me on this quest of self-acceptance instead of self-doubt? The danger, of course, is complacency. There is a fine line between accepting oneself and justifying unhealthy habits because you aren't comparing yourself to other people. I think common sense is appropriate here!
So this is where I stand - I'm okay at my weight. I DON'T NEED TO LOSE ANY MORE. I am healthy and strong. I am smart and capable and I am not defined by a number on a scale. SO THERE. Now, if I can just convince myself that these words are true!! LOL