My name is Jen. I have lost over 225 pounds and had surgery to remove my excess skin. Now I work every day on making healthy choices to maintain my weight and stay fit and strong in a crazy and challenging world!
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
A half-hearted WOO HOO
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Some sort of miracle...
Monday, March 12, 2018
The more things change...
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
I hate me, too!
Sunday, February 25, 2018
The avocado fail!
My tastes changed as well, so I do the best I can. We eat a lot of fresh meat, which Marc cooks, and a lot of salads. I can even put together a casserole - thankfully healthy eating is in vogue and there are smart people who post detailed recipes for people like me.
My biggest cooking quest has been to find desserts that taste great without the typical 10 billion calories. And I'm not talking the "refreshing light desserts". I want cookies and brownies and ice cream. Fortunately, Halo Top has taken care of ice cream for me!
I have found some surprisingly great dessert recipes. Sure, they aren't going to taste as good as the fat and sugar laden goodies of my past, but I can be naughty without being too naughty.
I have 2 healthy banana bread recipes, some protein brownie muffins, skinny peanut butter swirl brownies to name a few - they're pretty yummy. Most use natural sweetners, like overripe bananas, honey and maple syrup, and some call for baking Truvia.
This week I ran across a recipe for brownies - they were designed for those following the keto diet. The recipe called for avocado, sweet potato, maple syrup and some other ingredients. Avocados are SO good for you, but I rarely buy them. Some people live in a climate where they can grow them out back. Not here! They are around $2 a pop!
So I made them for my Saturday evening treat. For dinner we had some tasty lean pork ribs, and a kale, apple, cranberry and walnut dish that we love. Given that healthy dinner, I felt justified and excited to try the brownies that looked thick and fudgy.
AND TASTED LIKE DIRT.
They were so seriously disgusting. A nutrionist was credited with the recipe, and given the ingredients they were most certainly healthy. But she must have burned off her taste buds in some sort of nuclear accident if she made these and then recommended them for a dessert that a human would want to eat!
I was pissed. Pissed because my evening treat was ruined and I don't get another cheat for a week. Pissed because the money I spent on this rancidness could have easily bought 2-3 boxes of fattening Betty Crocker brownie mixes - which I can't eat. Pissed at the time and effort to make them.
I didn't find it funny at all last night. Tonight it's a little funny. And still NOT FAIR!!
Friday, February 23, 2018
Temper tantrums are cardio?
Monday, February 19, 2018
When it rains, it poor meeeees....
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Was it worth it?
Now the one small victory I can claim is that typically when I know I'm going to eat badly, I imagine the whole day is shot so why not just pig out the entire day. I didn't do that. And let's get real - pizza wouldn't be that big of deal if I could or would eat 1 or 2 pieces. But when I eat pizza, I EAT PIZZA! This time followed by S'mores Nachos for dessert.
I woke up Monday morning and felt a little nauseous - my body isn't used to that amount of grease. I asked myself if it was worth it. I then looked in the mirror and saw that I was terribly bloated. I poked my stomach and it rippled like a waterbed - so gross. Again I asked myself if it was worth it.
It took until yesterday morning for the queasiness to go away. I also haven't weighed myself this week because I didn't want to freak out or allow the numbers to give me an excuse to give up.
No, I'm back to eating well and exercising. So again - was it worth it? I savored the pizza while watching a great game - nothing wrong with that, right? On the other hand, I claim to want to lose weight and be in control of my eating and after only a month, I found a reason to undo some progress.
So I don't have a satisfactory answer. Maybe there isn't one - shades of grey....?
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
I'm a GENIUS!!
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
So long January!
Monday, January 29, 2018
Rationalization or being rational?
Friday, January 26, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
No I Won't Do That.
So I was frustrated with this guy, because every year that passes, every additional pound that he puts on - it gets harder and harder to take it off. I want him to do it NOW to not wait until he starts really suffering serious physical health issues.
But I can't do this for him - and I can't insult or bully him into changing. No one could do it to me years ago or now - when I know what I need to do and don't.
I can be an example. I can help educate. And hope that one day the light bulb turns on like mine did!! He'll learn - rabbit food ain't so bad!!
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Oh, look! Some control!
Friday, January 19, 2018
All the Small Things
At one time a few years ago I was very rigid about what I would consider a victory in terms of weight loss and fitness. If I lost 1 pound over a week, that was a FAILURE. I needed to lose at least 3 pounds over the course of a week for me to consider that I was successful. When I was running, it was unacceptable to just run 30 seconds more than the day before. I had to much run further and/or faster. And one diversion from my rigid eating schedule meant that the entire week was shot.
That worked. I mean, I lost the weight, right? But like many of my strategies it became unsustainable. Maybe because of my own lack of willpower but I certainly couldn’t keep it up and now I find myself where I am.
So I’ve been trying to find a place where I can accept small accomplishments and still consider them victories and be okay with that.
It was about 2 months ago, right before Thanksgiving when I sat in Urgent Care, the inside of my ankle having turned into a swollen and painful mess. Every step hurt. As the doctor gently placed the air cast on me and I was fighting off tears, she told me to cut myself a break - take some time off from running, let yourself heal - after all, she told me, it was the holiday season.
I told her that this is what made it worse - not being able to run during the toughest time of year as far as eating goes - at least for me. She basically told me there was absolutely no alternative - I had to rest it or it simply wouldn’t heal.
Fast forward to today - 2 months later. My goal for this week - not even a full week, mind you, because of the Martin Luther King Day holiday - was to stay out of the peanut butter. Peanut butter was the one thing for this work week that was 100% off limits. It seems ridiculous, doesn’t it? To have an actual goal to avoid 1 food. Not stuffing myself with peanut butter every night should be a no-brainer. But for me, this is an absolute challenge. If I can make it through the rest of tonight I will have achieved that little tiny - and yet monumentous - goal.
I also have been able to run pain free. Slowly and on the treadmill, but I’m putting in the miles. 86 so far this month. My longest run has been 10 miles - a far cry from what I used to do for a “long run”. And so much slower than a few year ago. But still, if I’m keeping up a high heart rate for an hour, it might not make me a stellar runner, but it’s burning the calories, right?
Since I was feeling flush with these “victories” this morning I decided to get on the scale. The last time I stepped on a scale was that Urgent Care visit 2 months ago. The screen read about 2.5 pounds lower. Did I actually lose 2 pounds from then? Who knows given the variation from scale to scale, the time of day, etc. But just stepping on that scale was a big deal since I’ve been so scared to do it for so long. And knowing that I didn’t gain a massive amount since the last time I weighed in was a huge relief. Although the number made me cringe, it hasn’t set me on a downward spiral and depression - at least not yet.
Don’t get me wrong - I have a LOT of work still to do. But having small goals - and letting myself feel good about achieving them - no matter how insignificant they may seem - seems to be a strategy that can work for me - both physically and mentally...
Thursday, January 18, 2018
This Is Us…
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
Running my fat off…
If you’re not on the Facebook page associated with this blog you might not have seen the book that came out last year that my story was in.
Some time ago I was contacted by Jason Karp, PhD. To be honest, I had never heard of him. But I learned that he is pretty well known in the running world and is dedicated to improving the world of running for everyone. He’s written a number of books about the science of running, including one of the “for dummies” book about running a marathon.
Dr. Karp indicated that he was writing a book about losing weight through running and part of the book would feature stories about people who had done just that. He asked if he could use my story in his book. I told him he could, answered a number of questions, sent him some pictures and told some of my friends and family and then forgot about it.
Early last year, Dr. Karp told me the book was finished and was on its way to publication and let me know that he was sending me a copy. “Run Your Fat Off” arrived a while later.
On a personal note, by that time I was so frustrated by my running – the weight gain and injuries had taken their toll on my ability to run at all, not to mention my distance and speed – and I was so disgusted and angry with myself for gaining so much weight back that I felt like…. a fraud I guess is the right word.
Not that anything in the book was fake, but it was almost like I was doing everyone reading the book and Dr. Karp himself a disservice by being in the book. And when I compared myself to other people in the book?? Holy crap – some of their stories are amazing! My accomplishments pale in comparison.
The book itself is not just stories about people who have ran and lost weight. It is filled with science based research on running and how running is so good for someone who is trying to lose weight. I emphasize the science based, because you guys know how much I hate these bullshit pseudo-science exercise and diet fads. Dr. Karp does too and his book is filled with facts about food and exercise – especially running.
Whether you are brand new to running or an experienced runner, I think there are many tips and tricks you can get from the book.
And maybe you can be inspired by people who have done it.
Incidentally, Dr. Karp lets you know that you DO NOT need to run every day – just on the days you want to eat!!