Sunday, March 20, 2016

Recipe: Pie Plate Chicken Divan

Remember chicken divan?  Traditionally made with tons of high fat mayonnaise and sour cream?   But the base – chicken and broccoli is so good, and when I saw this healthier recipe for an old favorite, I decided to give it a try!


  • 1 pound chopped broccoli florets
  • 1 pound chicken, cut into small pieces
  • 1 can low fat cream of mushroom soup
  • 1/3 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup shredded low fat cheese
  • 1/8 cup whole wheat bread crumbs


  • Pre heat oven to 450 degrees
  • Bring to a boil a large saucepan with the broccoli in it.  Boil for 5 minutes, and then drain
  • Cook the cubed chicken, flavoring with whatever spices you would like (I used McCormick’s Mesquite flavor)
  • Mix the soup and milk together
  • In a 9 inch pie plate place the broccoli, then the chicken and pour the soup evenly over it
  • Spread the cheese over it
  • Sprinkle the top with bread crumbs
  • Bake for 15 minutes

And that’s it, easy and delish!








Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Crazy like me?

How is everyone out there doing? I am slowly trying to come back to sanity. I found myself wondering something this weekend. I wondered at what point my self-worth as a human being became tied to my body weight.

Maybe it always has been - when I was obese there was always - ALWAYS - a feeling of shame, no matter what I achieved or didn’t achieve. But at some point during my weight loss, I thought that this had changed. I was happy to be losing weight and started feeling good about myself, but I DIDN’T believe that my worth would ultimately be determined by how low the scale got. At least I don’t THINK I thought about that.  I certainly didn’t think I was a better person for losing weight.  I was just enjoying life - a lot.

But something changed. And when you get to the point of complete and utter despondency over some weight gain, maybe there’s a clue. Another clue? I was thinking that now that the weather has warmed up, I need to start thinking about getting things in place to raise some new baby chicks and to clean out the chicken coop – you know, spring chores. When I thought about this, I realized that I have been neglecting “real life” things like this in order to exercise 3 hours per day every day.


Saturday, Marc and I ran in the local Shamrock Run. Last year I finished with an average pace of 7:40 minute miles. This year, it was about 8:35. I didn’t get a medal. It sucked. But did the world come to a crashing halt? Did someone take my birthday away? Did I lose a $3,000,000 deal from Nike? Uh... NO.

So, at what point do I get off this insane Merry-go-round?

Some kind reader of this blog sent me a podcast type thing. They interviewed Jill Coleman ( She was an athlete and fitness model and got into a disordered relationship with food and exercise and was able to out the other side and now she helps people. Some of the things she said both shocked and scared me. She talked about her child taking one of her Reese’s Pieces one day and it made her cry. Because those were hers. When you are incredibly restrictive with what you allow yourself to have, the food takes on an insane value if and when you do allow it into your life. I could totally identify with that, and clearly recalled being on vacation a couple of summers ago and driving by an ice cream stand and crying because I love ice cream and wanted some SO BAD but couldn’t/wouldn’t allow myself to have any.

She also talked about the period of her life when she was being extremely restrictive during the week – every day looking forward to the weekend - where she would go on a wild weekend binge - all weekend.  I know that this is stupid but I was like “other people do that??!!” I thought it was just me! Duh!

Jill started listening to her body, doing things in moderation, and is much healthier mentally. Her approach totally makes sense - and yet it terrifies me to think of allowing myself this leniency.  Of being okay with some extra poundage.  Of it not working for me and ballooning back up to obese.

Because what I’m doing now is working so well, right??!!


Monday, March 7, 2016

A hater’s paradise…

It’s been a while. I wish I was eloquent enough to express why I haven’t been posting but I really have nothing to say.

I feel like all of you must just get so sick and tired of my bullshit. If I’m sick of it, you must be, too!

Some of you have e-mailed and asked about me and there are no words to express how much I appreciate it. But I am clearly no inspiration or example to anyone.

Last Thursday was Marc and my 11th wedding anniversary. If I were a normal well adjusted person, then I would have enjoyed a nice celebratory dinner and then moved on. But NO. Instead, after eating like a pig Thursday night, it only made sense to carry that pattern into the weekend, culminating with a family get together yesterday that involved me showing every piece of food I could find into my mouth.

I try to justify my actions and make excuses for why it is so much harder for pooooooorrrrr me.

When I look in the mirror it literally makes me sick how horrible I look. And I vow with every ounce of sincerity to change. That lasts only a few hours before I fuck it up - again and again..

I made an appointment to see the doctor next month for my annual exam. I told the nurse that I wanted the additional thyroid tests ordered, not just the standard one that they typically do. The doc not only ordered them, but also ordered a full metabolic profile based on my symptoms.

I told my co-worker that I must be sick in the head because I am SO hoping that they find something. I told her I must be completely defective wanting something to be wrong me with - wanting to have the easy answer why I can’t lose weight. BOY, I am going to be incredibly disappointed when the official diagnosis is...


So I apologize, and I totally mean it. I apologize for not being able to be the positive person that I so want to be. I apologize that I can’t find it in myself to get back on track and be an example of how to succeed in keeping weight off.

I hope that those of you that read this blog are doing 10 MILLION times better than me. Because I know it can be done. Just apparently not by me!