I know that some of you will find this totally pathetic, but I have never lived on my own. The closest I’ve ever come was when my roommate my freshman year of college had a bit of a meltdown and left. But living in a college dorm hardly qualifies as solo living.
Marc’s father has had a rough time coming out of anesthesia. He was altered mentally and couldn’t be left alone. So Marc spent the entire day and night there yesterday.
I hated it. Marc and I do everything together. So spending the day alone yesterday? I was lonely and agitated. Not to mention worried as hell. And – selfishly – I was mad. And felt guilty for my anger. It was not a good day.
Today dawned and Marc’s sister arrived to take her “shift” and Marc came home with the good news that Dad was almost back to normal mentally – what a relief.
And guess what? I ran 13.1 miles on the treadmill today with almost no pain! It’s the longest run I’ve done in what feels like FOREVER. Treadmill running still sucks, but I did it. In only a little bit of pain.
This is not the start to the year I had envisioned. I thought I would get right back on track. I haven’t. And there are excuses for this, but it all comes down to choices, and I’m just not there yet.
But a good day? I’ll take it. And keep my fingers crossed that one good day leads to another….
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