I think that's what I need to do - I need to shake things up! Something needs to kick me out of this mental rut that I am in and also knock my ass back into gear.
I continue to do pretty well with exercise. I think that's because I have a pretty varied routine going. I've mentioned my buddy, Sal, who is a DEDICATED runner. But that's all he does. Is run. LONGGGGGGG distances and often. But he is an antsy guy who can't stand more then a short run on a treadmill. So he is climbing the walls right now. Because it's downright dangerous to run outside around here right now. So he hasn't been running.
He told me this morning that he walked 4 miles last night and that it's "better then nothing". Sal doesn't have to worry about his weight, so at least he escapes that mental struggle that I have. But he wants to be running for sanity and fitness. And because he does nothing else he has no outlet.
That's an advantage that I have. Between the DVD's that I do as well as weight lifting and other things, I think that has helped (not made it easy, but HELPED) keep me exercising. In the nicer weather I run on Fridays outside. But today I did a ton of ab/core work instead on my lunch hour and will hit the treadmill when I get home.
But food. That's where I am just continuing to struggle. I just can't seem to get my ass in gear. It is so frustrating. I know a lot of you out there are hearing where I'm coming from.
I just want to eat, eat, eat. It's not even bad stuff that I am eating. But picking continuously at healthy foods - well the damage adds up.
In substance abuse counseling, we talk about the "honeymoon" period. When someone first gets clean and sober, they typically feel great. They physically feel better. They start recovering things that they've lost - like seeing their kids again or reconciling with other family. Or going to college. They go to AA/NA meetings and proudly announce that they are 6 months sober and everyone applauds. They share their story with new-comers and listen to the success stories of others in the program.
And then - typically - comes a crash. They begin to realize that this is their life. There's not the constant praise and excitement. Instead they just have to start living "normally".
I wonder if that's what is happening with me. Is the honeymoon over? Am I starting to realize that this is just the rest of my life? And why is that hard for me to accept?
I guess I need to do something to shake my routine up. Maybe I just have "cabin fever". But I want to make sure a small slide doesn't lead to a landslide!