Thursday, January 16, 2014


On any given week my weight bounces around dramatically.  Well, I say dramatically, but realistically it bounces around between about 3 pounds up and down.

As you know, my "redline" weight is 120.  My goal is to stay under that number.  

Well this week, I have been hanging FRUSTRATINGLY AND CONSISTENTLY at 120.3.  So that is barely above the infamous redline and nothing to get worked up about, I suppose.  But it's like that number is there going "HAHA!  How do you like that, Fatty?  You're above the weight you want to be!"

It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?  1 1/2 years ago I stood on the scale and burst into tears of JOY - overwhelming, fantastic joy - at seeing 119.7.  Now I stand on the scale and see 120.3 - only a little higher - and I want to kick the fucking scale across the room.  

So much for not letting the number on the scale effect my moods, right?  Actually I'm not totally down about this but I want to sit down and explain to Mr. Scale that I have been ON POINT with exercising my ass off this week.  And I've been eating really well.  So I deserve to be rewarded for that, dammit!

But as I know - and you know - it doesn't always work like that - on the scale or in life.  Sometimes naughty behavior gets rewarded and good behavior doesn't.  When I used to teach Anger Management groups, I would always tell my clients that one of the hardest lessons they would learn in life is that sometimes you are 100% right and you still LOSE.

Fortunately I keep in mind that if my good behavior continues, I WILL see a reward.  It just takes patience. 

Before I sign off today, I want to give a shout out to "J" - who began her first day of retirement today!!  I've said many times that this journey has truly shown me who my real friends are.  "J" has been one of my biggest supports, cheerleaders and has also not hesitated to kick my ass when needed.  As she heads off - in excitement and anticipation - of this next part of her life, I want to congratulate her!  You worked your ass off for many years, "J", and now it's time to enjoy the fruits of your labor!  I hope this next part of your life is a wild adventure!

1 comment:

  1. Jen, I don't know what to say other than thank you so much for your kind words. It's always good to hear you made a difference in someone's life. I always say my best years in the court system were in the old courthouse. I'll never forget the first time I saw you sitting in that little office in the corner thinking, "dear lord, they stuck this poor girl in a closet"! Then in the new court complex, you got the Taj Mahal and I got the closet-Ha!. I only have fond memories of that place. I do hope I'll be seeing you around. Take care, "J"