My friend asked me how things were going today.
Things are great, actually. Other then the freaking weather.
But really, what do I have to complain about? I have a home, work is going great, and the miracle happened today - they FINALLY installed high speed internet!!!
I have a wonderful husband and our marriage is fantastic. Archer's ear is virtually healed and the rest of our managerie is in great shape.
My Achilles feels wonderful! I ran again tonight - on the treadmill again - but I'm hardly feeling any pain! I have to run outside to really test it, but damn - this is something I feared would never happen.
And yet...I can't surrender to happiness. Why? Because of the number. That blasted number on the scale that greets me every morning. It taunts me, tells me I'm a miserable fat failure.
I think some times that I've gotten beyond that. And I really have improved. But wayyyy inside it tears at me. Every single morning. It's STUPID. So so so stupid. And yet real...
Will I ever get there? I guess it's like everything about this a journey - persistence and patience...
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