Climbing out of a hole…

Yesterday was a rotten day.  I started it off with physical therapy, which was fine, EXCEPT it effing COLD out and  the appointment was first thing in the morning and the place wasn’t warmed up yet and I got chilled while lying there letting the electrical stimulation go on for 15 minutes on top of the 5 minute phonophoresis treatment.

I get back to my office and despite a large coffee and hot oatmeal, I sat there in my – for most people oppressively – warm office and just shook.

I swear, if it weren’t for the fact that I was tested just a few months ago AND that my skin, nails and hair are in great shape, I would think my thyroid had fallen out of my body.

By lunch time, I was miserable.  The thought of working out – pathetically – made me want to cry.  All I wanted to do was eat.  I plowed through my salad with tuna and was completely and totally unsatisfied.  All I could think about was carbs carbs carbs.

Driving home it was lightly spitting a cold snow/sleet so when I got home and the pity party continued.  I had agreed for this survey company to dye my hair and they had sent me a kit.  I dyed the hair and while rinsing it out stood underneath HOT water.

I ate dinner which despite being a completely healthy normal dinner, again left me feeling empty. 

I sat on the couch just waiting for the day to end so I could go to bed.

A good night’s sleep refreshed me somewhat, but I was out of sorts this morning, as well.  I did manage to haul my ass to the basement for a weight heavy workout.

Then we went in to my hair salon where I saw my stylist and gave her something I had made for her.  At our last appointment she told me that there would be no wigs for her.  As soon as chemo ended and she had even a bit of hair, she told me, she would “rocking the lesbian cut!”  I gave her the scarf and hat I made for her:

And told her I was all for her rocking that cut, but she would need to keep her head warm during her long walks!

Beyond that, it was an uninspiring day.  I did do some yoga and was at least gratified to see that my flexibility, lack of pain, and balance is proof positive that I am definitely healing.

But I have once again, lost that wonderful mojo.  And I am terrified that this long winter will push my weight even further up the scale!