Thursday, October 9, 2014

Things changing in an instant…

I’ve been ON POINT with my eating this week.  I’ve felt pretty proud of that – even though that’s just what I should be doing.

And exercise wise – especially running again?  I did 6 today and felt really good.  NO hamstring pain!  We’ll see if that weird knee thing pops up after some period of inactivity.  It’s fine right now…

This afternoon I had this debate with myself about weighing in tomorrow.  I should know where I stand right?  But what if it’s BAD?  What if it’s really bad?  I mean I clearly am heavier, but most my clothes fit – you know the whole bullshit stuff I do.

After work I headed to the salon I go to to get my hair cut.  I‘ve been seeing this woman Jodi for a few years now and get my hair cut every 8 weeks.  She is an animal lover too, and we have fun discussions while she cuts my hair.  She is about my age and funky – like a lot of these stylists – and seems like a truly wonderful person.

I get to the salon and don’t see Jodi.  When they ask if they can help me and I say who I am there to see, they murmured at one another.  I am then told she is out.

Assuming she called in sick, I turn into insta-bitch because that is me.  I was annoyed that they hadn’t called to let me know and re-scheduled me.

And then she said something about Jodi being SICK.  I looked at the woman and told her I had no idea what she was referring to.

Turns out in the 8 short weeks since I’ve seen her, Jodi has been diagnosed with breast cancer, had a double mastectomy and is undergoing chemo. 

Holy fuck. 

How many more of these wake up calls do I need before I realize that a few pounds - it’s okay to want to get them off, but DAMN – it’s really not worth the drama I create in my mind.

They scheduled me for next week and I hope Jodi will be back and I get to see her – even though I am the type of person who typically tries to avoid these situations.  Part of my head in the sand thing.

I’ll let you know how it goes if she is well enough to return and what her prognosis is.

And I hope I step on the scale tomorrow morning and let the number be just a number I need to work on, not a big mind game.


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