What the heck is going on with me? I am not in one of funks. That's not what is going on with me right now. It's something else that I can't control. I'm not even in a bad mood. It's this paralyzing anxiety that I've been dealing with.
It sucks.
I'm not sleeping well - which is totally abnormal for me. And I'm sitting here right now with this tightness in my chest and a feeling of PANIC for no reason at all!!
Today is a run day and when noon came it was snowing like crazy, it was 16 degrees and there was a strong run. So I decided it was a no brainer that I wouldn't run. But then a co-worker came in and we got discussing some of the cases from court this morning and by the time we were done I didn't feel like doing a workout DVD.
So I did a very bad thing. I went out and browsed a few stores. And as I shopped and saw others there shopping I realized - there are people out there that DON'T exercise during their lunch hour. There are people who shop or do other things during that time. And that thought - though stupidly obvious - caused me to pause.
I came back to work and felt GUILTY having lunch because I hadn't worked for it. It's not healthy. Every time I think I'm making strides in this area I have a huge setback. Although I think I can now trace it mostly to when it's something UNPLANNED. If I know I'm going to eat off plan or do something else "naughty" I can deal.
But rolling with it? I'm not good at that. I'm about to hit the treadmill and I will run and maybe that will 1) assuage my guilt and 2) work off some of this anxiety. I truly hope so.
If anyone has any words of wisdom to get my head screwed on right, please feel free to share them with me.
Hi, let me suggest having your hormones checked. You might be entering perimenopause and that can cause anxiety levels to skyrocket for seemingly no reason.
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