Thursday, December 12, 2013

I need to get a grip!

What the heck is going on with me?  I am not in one of funks.  That's not what is going on with me right now.  It's something else that I can't control.  I'm not even in a bad mood.  It's this paralyzing anxiety that I've been dealing with.

It sucks.

I'm not sleeping well - which is totally abnormal for me.  And I'm sitting here right now with this tightness in my chest and a feeling of PANIC for no reason at all!!

Today is a run day and when noon came it was snowing like crazy, it was 16 degrees and there was a strong run.  So I decided it was a no brainer that I wouldn't run.  But then a co-worker came in and we got discussing some of the cases from court this morning and by the time we were done I didn't feel like doing a workout DVD.

So I did a very bad thing.  I went out and browsed a few stores.  And as I shopped and saw others there shopping I realized - there are people out there that DON'T exercise during their lunch hour.  There are people who shop or do other things during that time.  And that thought - though stupidly obvious - caused me to pause.  

I came back to work and felt GUILTY having lunch because I hadn't worked for it.  It's not healthy.  Every time I think I'm making strides in this area I have a huge setback.  Although I think I can now trace it mostly to when it's something UNPLANNED.  If I know I'm going to eat off plan or do something else "naughty" I can deal.

But rolling with it?  I'm not good at that.  I'm about to hit the treadmill and I will run and maybe that will 1) assuage my guilt and 2) work off some of this anxiety. I truly hope so.       

If anyone has any words of wisdom to get my head screwed on right, please feel free to share them with me.  

1 comment:

  1. Hi, let me suggest having your hormones checked. You might be entering perimenopause and that can cause anxiety levels to skyrocket for seemingly no reason.