Monday, August 24, 2015

Insanity…not with Shaun!

You guys have certainly heard someone say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I was caught in that cycle for years - thinking I could continue to eat tons of crap, sit on my behind and lose weight.

So I broke this cycle and wow - what a life changer it was.

But now I seem to be caught in a different cycle. And it’s just as vicious, just as insane, but I keep repeating it and I’m not sure how to break out.

I’ve read enough articles and blogs to know I’m not alone in this cycle. So my crazy-ass-itis is shared by many strong and wonderful men and women. But knowing this doesn’t make it any easier and hasn’t taught me how to resolve it.

I’m caught in an exercise obsession. I hesitate to call it an exercise addiction, because when you look up those symptoms, I don’t really fall into that. You see, my exercise obsession is all about BURNING CALORIES so I can eat like I want and not gain weight.

But here’s the cycle I find myself in. I start Monday exercising hard - about 3 hours per day - cardio and weight lifting. I also keep my calories extremely low. I keep this pattern up through Thursday. By Thursday evening, I am so hungry and so tired that I can barely hold on, but I tell myself to get through one more day - just one more - and I can eat more during the weekend.

I usually get through Friday but by Friday night, I am, as one guy described it in an article I read - “bat-shit carb crazy”.  So I start to indulge. And that continues through the weekend. It’s not binging behavior, it’s just eating more then I should be. Undoing all the “progress” made during the week.

By Sunday night I feel a sense of depression and panic at the thought of going back to severely restricting on Monday.

I know that this is unhealthy. I know that the answer is to eat moderately all week long and exercise reasonably. But as with all maladaptive behaviors - like smoking or gambling or watching porn - knowing what you SHOULD do or what is HEALTHY to do doesn’t magically make it happen.

It needs to change, because it’s not healthy AND it’s not helping me reach my goal of losing weight!  But I’m not sure how to break the cycle right now.

Anyone else dealing with something like this?


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