Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Why me?

OK, so I think too much.  I know this.  But I started thinking about this yesterday after a pretty good birthday.

I talked to someone yesterday.  She is a WONDERFUL person.  Dedicated, generous, caring - an all around just good human being.

She is so good that she often gets taken advantage of. And she has never found a partner who has stuck by her.  She was talking about being exhausted and going through some emotional things and wishing that at the end of the day she could just come home and have someone to talk to - who she could lean on - to tell her everything was going to be okay.

My heart hurt for her.

So I went home and there was Marc.  He cooked a magnificent meal for me.  And as if that's weren't enough, he showered me with gifts.  I felt almost guilty.

Why me?  How did I get so lucky? I often say that I believe in karma.  And I try to be a mostly good person - although I fuck that up regularly.  But I see someone like this friend of mine and I know she doesn't deserve the shit she deals with on a daily basis.

I guess life is not fair. Sometimes bad people win and good people lose.  Sometimes we can't explain why things happen

Rather then asking myself why I am so lucky, maybe I need to just be grateful for this and continue to strive to do the right thing more times then not.

The scale was even kind to me this morning - giving me a lower number then I have seen in a while.  I haven't been perfect with eating and exercising, but I've been more good then bad.  And so, like life, we get our rewards most of the time.

Life is not completely rational or predictable - which is a blessing and a curse.

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