3 against 1...

So when you read this today, you're going to be think "What a fucking idiot Jen is!" And you will be right.  I think I'm a fucking idiot.  And my plan is to keep being one.

There are 3 entities that believe I need a break from running.  One is Mr. Achilles.  This is a picture of him.  He looks pretty swollen and angry.  He has been that way for months now and just refuses to get better.

 

In fact, he has been causing me so much chaos that I think he has been altering my gait because yesterday during my long run I must have pulled something in my opposite hamstring/glute area as that is killing me.

I went out to take a walk at lunch and between the Achilles and the hamstring I was in so much pain I wanted to scream.  It took a full mile before the pain died down.  It took another mile to loosen up and then settled into just a small ache - which I took as a sign that it was fine for me to continue - which I did.

Yesterday, after my 13 mile run, I spent about 2 hours weeding the vegetable and flower gardens and then Marc and I decided to relax in the hammock.  As we were laying there, Marc was talking about his Achilles which has started bothering him a little.  I pointed at mine which was super swollen from that morning.

"Oh my god!!" Marc yelled - "You shouldn't be running on that!!!" I quickly changed the subject.

The other entity who wants a break from running is Fat Jen.  She is always thrilled to have any excuse to not exercise.  The problem is that Fat Jen wants it both ways.  She wants to eat and eat but not exercise - which is how we got fat in the first place!

So there are at least 3 who are advising me that I need a break.  But I got on the scale this morning and felt SICK.  I am at a horrifying number.  It's so bad I refuse to even post it here. 

We are going on vacation next week.  I can't wait!  But I know that I won't want to deprive myself.

It's this simple - I can't give up the exercise and eat the way I want.  I also have the irrational fear that if I take a break, I will completely lose my ability to run.  So rather then do the reasonable and logical thing and moderate my food intake I'm choosing to be an idiot and risk more injury...