Mindfulness - continued...

So I talked yesterday about this approach as it has to do with food, but even more important, I think that it can applied to life.

I said yesterday that there have been times when I have felt like a spectator of my life rather then me actually living it.

Marc gets mad at me all the time because I don't remember things that - according to him - we JUST talked about.  And it's not like it's something that I'm not interested in so I tuned him out.  It's everything - topics I'm really interested in and I have ZERO memory of us discussing them.  I am famous for watching a movie over again and not remembering crucial plot developments.  I didn't remember the dog dying in Turner and Hootch for fuck's sake.

I've always said that this is because I have a terrible memory.  But I don't think that this is true.  I think it is my inability to be present in a moment.  Instead of always living in the here and now I'm thinking other things or I'm not focusing on being involved in what I'm doing.

I think that this is not terribly healthy.  I'll tell you what has gotten me to start realizing this even before the discussion on 3 Fat Chicks.  It's doing Yoga! 

Marc and I have started doing not only tougher Yoga DVD's, but also more Yoga.  And it really makes you be in the moment.

It has taught me a couple of things.  The first is to get more in touch with my body.  In challenging myself into more difficult poses and listening - really listening - to the instructors, I have realize how tense I have always held my body even while in poses.  So I have been concentrating on FORCING my body to relax and settle into positions.  It is a totally invigorating experience.

Another thing it has taught me is to be fully in touch with my thoughts.  When you are doing Yoga, you often have to settle in positions that are not natural and are often not comfortable.  And unlike intense exercise, you have to SIT in that position for a long period of time.  So you have to learn to embrace the experience of your body struggling and you have to strenthen your mind to focus on staying there and controlling your breathing and being fully involved in that mind-body connection.  

For me, at least, it is not possible to think about items I have to put on the grocery list when I am in plough position. 

  

And if your mind wanders while in Warrior III - well, you'll fall on your ass.  You have to be constantly focused on your body and be calm and balanced.  

As I have been working on being more focused and mindful, I have also found myself - just in the last couple weeks - being happier and more at peace with myself and my body then I have ever been. 

Coincidence?  Too early to tell.  But I'm going to keep practicing!