Friday, November 22, 2013

The progress that HASN'T been made!

Sigh....  It's always two steps forward and one step back for me it seems.  As was completely obvious, I had a very emotional day yesterday.  Emotional and stressful.

In addition to the drama that was going on with so many of my clients that had to be discussed in our morning meeting, there was also many other clients scheduled that day.  So our meeting took FOREVER.  And it was COLD in the room we meet in.  I'm cold all the time, anyway, but it was just cold for most people, so you know that I was FREEZING.  I went into my office and got my Snuggie out and actually took it back into the meeting and put it on - classy and professional, right?

And one of my co-workers had been nice enough to bring in 2 full boxes of fresh home-cooked treats.  I resisted and resisted.  It got later and later.  I was shaking I was was so cold.  And I got hungry.  We finally broke up the meeting and then had to go into court and see each of the clients individually.  It was way past the lunch hour.  And I did the unthinkable.  I ate a cookie.  As big as my fucking face cookie.

Ok, well maybe it wasn't quite this big...

By the time court ended it was mid-afternoon.  I was starving.  I had a TON of work to do - which meant no noon exercise and it WAS a run day.  

I managed to get out of there a little early and went home - physically and emotionally exhausted and kicking myself for not running and eating that BLASTED cookie.  I was going to go out and run, but it's getting dark so early.  I should have run on the treadmill.  Instead I got on the elliptical and busted my ass for 90 minutes.  

But that wasn't good enough.  It was a RUN DAY and I DIDN'T RUN.  Which, logically, makes me an absolutely pathetic fat LOSER.  Right?  Of course right!

I was so down last night.  

Today is a new day.  Shockingly, the scale wasn't up 23 pounds this morning.  In fact, it was .2 lower then yesterday.  I have eaten right.  I have avoided the oatmeal raisin cookies in the break room that have been singing to me.  It was cool and rainy at lunch.  And I ran 7 miles.  I got some more bad news on clients.  But I got all my work done so I'm not going to obsess about that this weekend.   I still feel like a failure for only running 3 days this week.  But I'm not bashing myself too badly.  

I find that I remain so mentally inflexible when it comes to any disruption in my routine.  It just derails me completely.  But the good news is that I seem to be able to recover quicker and not let it pull me into a multi-day funk.  This is progress, right?

Today I am thankful to have a weekend to relax and rejuvenate my body, mind and soul!


  1. Oh Jen, you are a silly women. :)

    You deserved that cookie after the day you had there's no reason to beat yourself up about it! You have all weekend ahead of you to get back on track and make up for the one day that your schedule fell apart. It will all be okay!

  2. Come on Jen 90 min on the elliptical!!!When will you realize that is remarkable you pulled that out of THAT kind of day!

  3. I hope you both are as kind to yourselves as you are to me!!!