Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A sigh of relief....

So I know that this is stupid.  But you saw my post yesterday about my "failure" in running over the weekend and how I feel like I've lost my mojo, so to speak.  Yesterday, I woke up to fresh snow which had, in the city, turned into a thick layer of ice on the sidewalks.

So I was sure that I would not be able to do my normal noon-time run.  For someone like me, who has become so regimented this caused significant anxiety.  And a debate in  my head about what I would do for exercise and if I would have to get on the treadmill when I got home.  

About 11AM, the sun came out, but it was still really cold, so I didn't think the ice would melt.  At noon I went out and checked and much to my surprise, the sidewalks appeared clear.  So I got dressed and headed out, but with anxiety.  I almost felt like the runner part of me was....broken?  I feared that I would start running and wouldn't feel good - wouldn't want to continue.

I started running and about 1/2 mile in I realized, "Hey, this feels pretty good."  By mile 3-4 I was totally in the groove!  By mile 5 I thought I had wings attached to my heels.  And when I circled back around to work, I didn't want the run to end.  I felt WONDERFUL.

WHEW!  I was totally relieved.  Apparently you that commented are right - I just had a bad day.  Sunday was just one bad run.  It wasn't a sign or a disaster or any catastrophic. 

And immediately afterwards I felt great.  Like some darkness had lifted.  It is just amazing to me how my emotions can turn on a dime.  But trust me - I ain't gonna complain about feeling good!!  I am working every day on self-acceptance and treating ME the way I treat other people.  

Today I am thankful to live in an area where I can be confident that my person and property are safe and I don't have to look over my shoulder in fear.


1 comment: