People just don't understand...

You know what's funny?  I have lived with food and body issues for so long that I forget that there are other "normal" people in the world that don't struggle with this day in and day out.  I forget that there are people who go through their lives and actually see a cupcake as just a cupcake and nothing more.  

Marc and I went to Target today.  On the way out he asked if I wanted to get something from the Starbucks that is in the store.  He has a gift card from there and we rarely stop at Starbucks (because Dunkin' Donuts is WAY better) so he thought as long as we were there, we could grab something and go.  Especially tempting it was since it was a cold and overcast day. 

As we waited in line there were 2 teenage girls in front of us giggling and talking about teenage girl stuff.  And they each ordered a latte.  As I stood there and listened to them place there order I envied them.  I'm willing to bet that they DIDN'T do what I did.  Which was to stand there, staring at the choices and engaging in a spirited debate in my head about whether I would allow myself to order a drink with calories or whether I should stick to plain coffee.  I'm willing to bet that they didn't frantically scan the menu choices looking at calories and how many a tall had versus a grande.  Those girls have never had the experience, I'm quite certain, of wondering how many calories could be saved by using non-fat milk in the drink instead of the standard 2% and whether whipped cream should be "allowed".

Lucky bitches.  LOL

I am getting so much better.  But I don't know that these issues will ever disappear.  

Today I was contacted by someone from the running forums that I am on saying that she took a look at my blog and even though she has never been overweight and has never struggled with food issues, it helped her understand what her family and friends go through.  And that made me happy.  Maybe I have these issues for a reason - a purpose.  Not just for people who are on this journey, but maybe to educate others - or maybe to help them have empathy.  That makes me feel better to believe that.

P.S.  For anyone wondering - I had a Peppermint Latte.  Nonfat milk.  Whipped cream.  And that is in NO WAY related to me coming home and busting my ass on the elliptical for 60 minutes!!

As I make this post I find myself thankful that my young nieces - one who takes after me in SO MANY ways - are showing no signs whatsoever of having weight problems or the food issues that have plagued me my whole life!!