Life is short...

Life is so fragile, so short.  I've been pondering this lately.  The other day there was a situation where I took the "high road".  The high road is an unfamiliar road to me.  In fact, in my past taking the "low road" - fighting dirty, holding grudges, being vicious - wasn't just part of who I was, it was something that I prided myself on!

I find now that I just don't have time for that drama.  I think that part of it is that with my weight loss has come more than I ever imagined.  It made me have confidence in myself and a respect for who I am that I have never in my life had before.  Life is just too short.

You see, when I was fat, I hated myself.  And one way to make myself feel better would be to crush others.  And I was pretty damn good at that.  But I just don't want to be that person anymore.  Every single day - in person, but on places like Facebook, I see grown ass adults acting like 13 year olds.  It used to disgust me.  But now I feel pity for someone who is in their 40's with children and grandchildren posting messages about people being "two-faced".  Really?  

I could get hit by a truck while out running tomorrow.  We could go to war and have someone bomb the shit out of us.  Like happened this weekend - tragically - tornados could roll through and kill us in our sleep.  If you spend any time thinking about it, it's terribly scary.

My life used to revolve around television and computers.  They both remain a part of my life, but now I'm out there LIVING.  That's one thing that weight loss has done for me.  I don't want to spend one more minute of my life wasting it being fat and unhealthy.  I want to LIVE.

On the other hand, I don't want to spend one more minute hating the fact that I weigh 121 today instead of 117.  It's ridiculous and it prevents me from LIVING, too.  Finding the balance between contentment while still challenging myself has proved difficult.  But as I sit here today, I am more at peace then I think I have ever been.

Drama and gossiping used to be fun.  I have more to fill up my life now.  And if there are people in my life that aren't healthy then they are no longer welcome in my life.  Period.  Not with hostility, but a peace at seeing a disease leave.

 Today I am thankful for an inner peace and tranquility.