Friday, October 11, 2013

Living the dream...

Yesterday I ran into a former client from my program.  She graduated successfully from the program a few years ago, but unfortunately fell back into active alcoholism.  However, a couple of years ago she managed to get herself back together and got back into recovery.  She now has a very successful life - married a good guy, graduated from college - and was just hired at the substance abuse agency where she used to be a client.

She looks fantastic and sounded SO happy and proud of herself as we were talking.  She said to me that she finally feels like she is living her dream.  I had just finished running when I ran into her.  She pointed at me and said "You must feel like you're living your dream, too!!"

As a matter of fact, yes, I am living my dream!  But it is so easy to forget that!  When I was fat I used to play the head games with myself like so many of us do.  I would ask myself what would I sacrifice to have someone wave a magic wand and make me thin?  

Would I sacrifice my job?  My home?  If someone could make me instantly thin, would I give up my left arm for that to happen?  Sometimes I thought that losing a limb would be TOTALLY worth it.

Turns out I didn't need a magic wand.  And while I've made tremedous sacrifices on this journey, they weren't nearly as dramatic as giving up a body part!  All I needed to do was get my ass in gear and make it happen.  

And I achieved something I dreamed my whole life about!  If someone was to tell me back then that someday I'd be having a meltdown because the scale was up to 125, like last week, I would have told them they were frigging crazy!!  I would have LOVED to have seen the number 125 on the scale at that time.  Hell, I would have LOVED to have seen 199!  

So I sit here today with the reality that I am living a life that I always desired!  Things aren't perfect.  But overall this is a life I used to dream about, and it's pretty fucking great that I get to experience it.  

It took a LOT to get here.  But it has been totally worth it.  I have other dreams, other desires, and since I was able to make this dream happen, I can make just about anything happen, right?  So what are you doing to make you dreams come true today?  How much work are you putting into living the life you have only fantisized about?

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