Bitches and bullies....

We have all encountered them, right?  It's usually women who are the bitches and men that are the bullies.  They tend to show up in force in middle school into high school.

The stereotype for women in high school is the pretty, thin, cheerleader type.  I don't know about your high school, but that wasn't exclusively the case at mine.  I was not thin, not pretty, and definitely not a cheerleader.  But I could be a royal bitch back then.  And I LOVED it.   Or at least I thought I did.

With all the attention in the media lately about bullying, and its sometimes catastrophic aftermath, there have been tons of psychologists and other experts talking about WHY kids bully others and how it can be stopped.  The consensus seems to be that kids bully when they feel out of control, or they are being bullied themselves at home.

Let me say that I think the answer is far, far more complex then that.  And at the risk of being attacked for saying this - some forms of what we now call bullying are normal and even healthy adolescent behavior.  Not where it gets to the point of torturing someone so badly they can't even function, but some of the more mild forms of bullying is completely appropriate for that age group.

But what we see now, and I have recently experienced, is GROWN ASS ADULTS acting like bullies and being passive agressive bitches.  This seems to happen more and more as people get caught up in "virtual lives".  I can't tell you how it shocks me some of the comments made on Facebook.  Do people forget that there are real people behind the names that you see?  

It really becomes pathetic and sad.  

I believe that this weight loss journey has made me a better person.  I used to take actual PRIDE in being a bitch.  I wore it as a emblem, almost.  If I was to analyze the old me, I would have to say that because I was so unhappy with who I was as a person I would relish in the power I had to hurt people or control the world with my words.

I am delighted to say that I am not that person today.  I find myself more compassionate, more understanding.  That doesn't mean I'm a doormat - I stand up for myself when needed.  But I don't need to cut someone down in order to bring myself up.  And when your life is full and complete you just don't have time to get caught up in the DRAMA that some people - yes, even those people that are supposed to be adults - seem to revel in.

Don't get me wrong - the bitchy and snarky Jen is alive and well in me.  But like Fat Jen, I strive every day to keep her under control.  I don't want to be that person today.  I want to make other people feel GOOD about their lives, not miserable.  Who wins when other people feel badly about themselves?  NO ONE.

So I challenge you to be the better person.  What can you say to someone today to lift them up and make them feel good about their lives.  And, like your mother always said, "If you can't say [or type] something nice, shut the fuck up!"  Ok, maybe that's not the phrase... ;))