That's a bit how I've been feeling. I wouldn't exactly say that I am stuck in a rut, but I'm kind of feeling like - so....what's next?
I have devoted the last 3.5 years of my life to thinking about my weight constantly and what I need to do to lose and then maintain it. That is combined with my fitness goals of running and weight lifting. And I feel a little like I don't know where to go from here.
It's not a sad thing - there is a certain peace and safety having a routine. But as we were working out this morning I was thinking that I was starting Saturday like I do most Saturdays - being in our workout room and working my lats, delts and biceps. I'm pretty happy with my muscles - I have no desire to get much bigger and it would take a devotion that I'm not willing to commit to - like upping calories, counting macros and decreasing cardio.
And speaking of running? It's going well. I feel good running more days then not. I am able to cover long distances on Sunday. I have no desire to put in the training time to run a marathon. I could probably do it if I wanted to devote the time and hours but I don't. I could get faster probably if I started doing hill runs and speedwork, but I HATTTTEEE speedwork and feel no pressing desire to get much faster. I'm not and will never be a competitive runner.
And my weight? Holding pretty steady at 119-120. Reallllllly steady. And that's a couple of pounds higher then I would like. But right this minute I don't have the desire to buckle down just to lose a couple of pounds.
So it's just kind of - here we are.... I'm not sure whether I should enjoy the complacency I feel at the moment or if I should be scared of it. Complacency can by incredibly dangerous. And is complacency really the right word to use here?
But after 3 years of driving and questioning and intense emotional upheaval, maybe I should just chill out and let it take its course.
OR, maybe I need some new life goals....