Crossing off the "to do" list....

Well, I still am running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to find extra hours in the day to get crap done.  I have mixed feelings about weekends like this, because there is a huge sense of accomplishment to get "chores" done.  On the other hand, I feel also like I'm missing out  on just doing fun things because I am "working" all the time.

Take yesterday - the vegetable garden is starting to look good!  Things are growing like crazy and pretty soon we'll be up to our asses in fresh veggies!  The other side of that it that the freaking WEEDS are growing like crazy too!  So I spent at least 3 hours yesterday weeding the garden.  It's better for the plants and we'll be able to harvest them easier but for fuck's sake, it's a lot of work.

Today I am SO mad at myself that I almost started crying.  First off, I got a confirmation e-mail from the place we are camping in a couple weeks.  I made these reservations 9 months ago so that we could get the premium spot at the campground that we always get.  And guess what?  I reserved the wrong fucking site.  I told Marc that I had ruined our vacation.  I am so upset.

If that wasn't bad enough, I then head out for my long run.  It was hot and humid today, exactly as I like it.  But I am an idiot and didn't bring my water.  I got an early start and thought I would be fine.  WRONG.  It was very humid and by mile 12 I was feeling light headed and shaky.  So I broke down at mile 13.5 and texted Marc - telling him I needed water.  

Have I ever told you what an amazing husband I have?  He had just gotten back from a 20 mile bike ride and filled up my water bottle with ice and water and jetted out the door.  He met me right at mile 14.  I fully intended on finishing my run - 2 more miles - but as soon as I stopped running I felt a cold chill and Marc said that I was shaking and wanted me to get in the car and ride home.  And I wussed out and gave in.  I am furious at myself for that - with some cold water in my I could have finished the run!

So then this afternoon we working on more projects such as some planting I needed to finish up and we also painted my park benches and the picnic table that were in bad shape. 

But I still feel like my day has been screwed up.  There's part of me that knows that being less rigid and demanding of myself would be a lot more healthy.  But the other part - the one that tells me I am a loser - wins the day...