Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Keeping your mouth shut.

That is something that I am decidedly NOT good at.

But I’m talking in a different context today then you probably expect.  Last week, I saw a friend and she said that I looked “incredibly cute today”.  As an immediate reaction, I started to protest this and point out my faults.

With a small patient but exasperated smile, my friend said “The correct response is ‘Thank you!’”  I floundered and made a joke.

Fast forward to today when I was talking with a corrections officer I have known for years.  A wonderful guy – kind and patient and, as a bonus, a Dolphins fan Smile

We were talking about a family he knows whose child just died of a overdose.  This is on top of another tragedy that struck that family just a few years ago.

I commented that this should be an example about how some people have such horrible things that they are living with and that I need “to remember that when I’m feeling sorry for myself.”

He asked why I would ever feel sorry for myself.  I responded that it is because I often “suck at life” and laughed.

He said to me – matter of factly -that I have a great job where I get to help people every day and I most certainly have saved lives.  He continued by saying that I overcame being “overweight” and that I am in a happy marriage.  Plus, he said, “You are incredibly pretty.”

You would think that would make me feel great!  But it didn’t.  It took everything I had – and recalling the situation with my friend last week – to not go on a tirade about how I am NOT pretty and I’ve gained weight and all that type of crap.

But I kept my mouth shut.  And tried as hard as I could to just accept the compliment. 

I wonder why accepting compliments like that is so incredibly hard for me.  To the point where I am almost sick to my stomach uncomfortable when people compliment me like that.

I am wondering if any of you that are reading have ever felt that way and if you have learned to overcome it.  I would really love to know…


1 comment:

  1. Oh yeah, that's me all right!!!! I do the exact same thing to deflect the attention from compliments! I even had a co-worker tell me over 14 years ago the exact same thing your friend told you! I've lost about 80lbs and hit goal in April, 2014. I got lots of compliments during the process and I had a hard time dealing with that. I've gotten better about accepting compliments in the last year or so, but I still have that squirmy, uncomfortable feeling even now. I would also love to hear how others have gotten over that feeling!