Some interesting events at yesterday's race. I garnered a lot of attention and comments about my tutu.
The best one came from a little girl who walked by me and I heard her say to her mother "Why don't I have a tutu to run in??!!" Pretty funny!
After the race 2 people who I didn't know asked if they could have their pics taken with me. I'm guessing it was the tutu - maybe along with coming in first. But it was a bit weird for me.
I also saw the trophy with years and years worth of winners of this race engraved on it - my name is there now (currently spelled wrong - supposedly will be getting fixed). And it will be there again for this year's race. I should be proud of this, right?
A few people came up and chatted with me and talked about others races where they had seen me. Since I am so utterly non-observant I didn't recognize most of them. There were compliments about my speed and fitness.
The interesting thing is that no one - from the ones who wanted a pic with me to the other runners - they don't know my "story". They see me at face value so to speak.
As I reflected last night I wondered what their reaction would be if they knew how crappy I felt during the race. How I feel so fat and my self-doubt. How - even with coming in first - I am disappointed in my performance. I'm guessing they would be surprised.
I put on a good mask.
BUT - I woke up this morning feeling a little more peaceful. And even though Monday is not a run day, I decided to run at lunch. Slowly. Without expectations or judgments on myself. And I felt good. I won't blow smoke up your asses and tell you that I felt wonderful, with no pain and that fairies flew out of my ass and 5 pounds fell off me. No, not quite.
And I am back to avoiding the scale for a few days. Why ruin hope with a cold hard dose of reality, right?