Thursday, April 10, 2014

Off kilter and rejected!

I am so unbalanced and confused right now.  My body hurts.  I am not motivated to work out, at all.  I went out today to run and it's sunny and warm and yet every single step felt like such a hard effort.  The wind was INSANE.  I only made it 5 miles and then surrendered.  I never surrender.  

And I got notice today that I didn't get that job I interviewed for.  I had pretty well decided that I wouldn't take the job even if it had been offered to me.  Not having to actually make the decision makes it much easier.  And yet - being rejected - it makes me feel like a LOSER.   

 I feel completely like I don't know who I am right now.

On the weight loss site someone who is still actively losing weight noted that she is harder on herself now then when she was heavier.  Boy, I can identify with that!  

So April is turning into a very, very weird month for me.  I need to rediscover ME.  

Geez, I really hope that this is true.  

Anyone out there ever feel like they were lost?  How did you find your way back?

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