Sunday, April 6, 2014

Fear and loathing in NNY....

It's Sunday.  Sundays are the day when I do my "long run".  Today I did not do a long run.  In fact, I did not run at all.  I can offer you many excuses.  My Achilles has been really bothering me.  Probably because between running and walking last week I covered 50 miles.  And our treadmill belt is broken.  I ordered a replacement and it will be here later this week.

I woke up this morning and it was really cold.  But it was sunny.  I certainly could have gone out and run.  It wouldn't have been the best run of my life, but I certainly could have done it.  But I didn't.  I chose the easy way out.

I used the elliptical for over an hour and then this afternoon we took the dogs and went for a 4.5 mile hike.  So it's not like I sat around all day.  But I didn't do what I was supposed to!   

As we were hiking, the dogs got to be off leash.  And they were just CRAZY!  It's been such a long winter and they were just overjoyed to be running around!  And it made me happy.  If only I could shut off that dreaded voice in my head that kept telling me that I hadn't burned enough calories and what a stupid fat pathetic LOSER I am.

I fucking HATE that voice.

I would have never believed that I was in danger of becoming an exercise addict.  But in addition to deriding myself for my failure today combined with the thought that if we got an exercise bike I could put it in the living room and ride at night to burn of some more calories while I watched tv?  I literally said to myself "STOP!!  That is NUTS."  Because it is.  

Talk about failure to see the forest for the trees!

So, self, this is for you.  Missing one run is not a big deal.  You are not a failure.  It's not going to cause you to lose the ability to run a long distance.  You have to chill out.  This is part of your reset.  And you need that once and a while.  So chill the fuck out!!!   

1 comment:

  1. Jen
    There was a time I hated to hear it but...your body does need a little rest!
    I am being awfully slow in my recovery,and am.HATE HATE it but trying to do what I can ....and my back keeps yelling NO if I push it........I know I Am addicted. Depression has caused me to feel sorry for myself overeating...NO WIN trying to be grateful for what I can do and push myself away from food