Wednesday, April 9, 2014

I see a light....

It's not all that dramatic.  I don't know why I have to make it that way!

I'm better today.  Sometimes I just need a dose of reality.  And sometimes I just need to feel sorry for myself for a period of time.  Hopefully I'm on the upswing.

As I sit here, one of my clients is "on the run".  He relapsed some time last week.  Details are sketchy, but I don't know where he is and "word on the street" is that he is using again.

I can't imagine what he is going through.  The guilt and shame (he had over a year clean) combined with the fear of going to prison if and when he is caught.  It has to suck.  And I am so worried about him because his drug of choice is heroin so the risk of overdose and death is very, scarily, real.  

That's one way I am so lucky.  When I go "off the rails" I risk getting fat again.  Which would SUCK and could bring with it health consequences.  But it's nothing like what this guy is staring at!!

So I am doing my best to lighten up and to make a choice to be happy.  

I feel calmer today which makes it easier to make good choices food wise.  You know, when I was fat I KNEW with every fiber of my being that my life would be PERFECT if only I was thin.  I was absolutely certain I would never have a bad day again.  Yeah, right! 

No matter if you are at the beginning of your journey, in the middle, stuck at a plateau, or trying to maintain - you will have struggles.  Defeat is not an option - get up and dust yourself off and persevere.  We all have it within us, some days are just harder then others!

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