Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Sure I will…

You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

And change will come
It's on it's way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

~ A Great Big World ~


I want to believe this, but I’m struggling right now.  I’ve been avoiding the scale like stepping on it would suddenly make me explode into a million pieces.

I don’t want to know the harsh reality.  I don’t want to see the number staring back at me telling me that I am a pathetic failure.

My skirt tightness told me that this morning.  But it’s not as cold as the number.

I have said here that when I started this journey I didn’t think about how much I had to lose because the number would have been so overwhelming.

And as I sit here guessing that I’m 10-15 pounds up – that number seems so daunting – so paralyzing – that I just can’t bear it.

I know what the real issue is – my friend Jessie and I were discussing it yesterday.  She and I are in the same boat.  We both want to do what we want to do without consequences.

I’m trying to get back to basics.  To taking it one day at a time.  Just worry about eating right today and the rest will take care of itself I tell myself.  But those words aren’t working right now.

 give up

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