A step forward or back?

As I type this I have just started vacation!  I am desperately in need of a break and it is finally here.

Part of this vacation we will be camping.  The last few years, for at least a couple weeks before going, I would obsessively scour websites of where we could hike and would be looking for the longest, most challenging trails I could find.

I would be thinking about finding time to run and worrying about not getting miles in.  I would be thinking about the S'mores I would want to eat by the fire and the calories and how to work those off.

And this year?  I'm not.  I want to relax and eat too much and just enjoy being on vacation.

So I am so supposedly concerned about my weight and yet, that's my attitude.  Is this an evolution or am I just diving headfirst back into old unhealthy habits?

I truly feel I have no perspective on that right now.  But I want to be fit and healthy while also being more accepting of myself.

Wish me luck!!