43

I turned 43 today.  As you guys who read this blog know, turning 42 was emotionally hard and somewhat scary since my father died at that age.  I expected to make it through 42 and then be in a really great place when I entered 43, but as you know, I’m in a very rough way right now.  The best laid plans, right?

In an attempt to pull myself out of the darkness, I worked this morning and took the afternoon off.  My wonderful, patient and understanding husband had said to me that the day was mine and we could do whatever.

I met him for lunch at Panera Bread – one of my favorite places.  And then we unpacked the bikes he had brought.  My Achilles is still in really bad shape and I was so nervous that biking would aggravate it. 

We took off and the Achilles barely made a peep.  We stopped in Sackets Harbor at 17 miles to split and enjoy my free birthday pastry that Panera was kind enough to give me. 

And then we took off again.  We ended up going 34 miles and my Achilles didn’t complain at all what a relief!  My first ever bike race is this Saturday and knowing that I will be able to bike pain free and not have an embarrassing disaster of not finishing like last week is a load off my mind.

And, of course, Marc went way overboard and showered me with gifts.  How can I be ungrateful and spoiled at the same time?

So, I’m not out of funk.  But I’m trying so hard to get there.  I can’t promise what tomorrow will bring, but to feel even a glimmer of hope?