Determinism, chaos theory, fate?

My friend casually said the other day "Everything happens for a reason!"

I asked if she really believes that and she replied "Absolutely!"

I wish I did!  It would make things so much easier!  I don't pretend to be anywhere NEAR smart enough to understand chaos theory like some readers out there can (Hello Marc and Erik!)

 

But my rudimentary understanding is that what seems random and totally without reason in our lives actually has a defined structure and is following a logical path - we just can't see it.

 But how can you possibly think that the terrible, unspeakably horrible things that happen in the world are happening for a reason?  Children with cancer, a drunk driver mowing down a family, someone losing their job, finding out your wife is cheating on you - that's just fate?

 And doesn't it remove our sense of responsibility?  Despite my vow to get back on track today no matter what I fucked that up badly.  And the guilt and shame I am feeling?  Well, if I can just convince myself it happened for a reason I could merrily go to bed and not think about what I'll do tomorrow  - because it's all pre-ordained, right?

 So for me events - be them good or bad - they don't come from some grand design by a diety or the universe.  We control our paths by and large by the million choices we make a day - including our reactions to the random obstacles and gifts we find along the way.






 As I tell my clients "All you can do is what YOU can do"








 I hope tomorrow I will do the right thing...