Tuesday, May 13, 2014

A simple life?

Well, where do I start?

If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, then you’ve probably been able to tell that I just haven’t been myself lately.

I’ve hit the proverbial wall, I think. I’ve lost my motivation for just about everything. It’s not that I’ve given up - I’m just at the point where I don’t care about much of anything and I’ve wondering what comes next.

I’ve made such extraordinary changes in my life and for the last couple of years I’ve been content basking in these changes and appreciating how much more positive and open to possibilities my life is.  And that was enough.

And suddenly....mysteriously...now it’s not.

I’m not searching for excitement - it’s the exact opposite. I want a simpler life.

Someone once asked me why I didn’t watch that show “The Apprentice” with Donald Trump. I answered - with complete honesty - “Because if Donald himself landed one of his helicopters in my back yard and asked me personally to come work for him, the answer would be ‘NO!’”

Don’t get me wrong - the draw of money is a big motivator for me - who doesn’t like nice things? But that life in the fastlane - working yourself to death and partying and running with the big dogs? That holds no appeal to me.

We live right next to the Amish. And don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to live like they do, either. BUT - there’s something appealing about the simplicity of their lives. No bureaucratic bullshit to deal with. No worries about car payments and 401 K’s and broken pipes.

The Amish kids that live near us are really friendly. They wave at me while I’m out running. I wonder how they would react if I tried to explain to them the concept of finding time to exercise. Or the need to count calories. I wonder what look of bafflement would come over their faces if I told them about standing on a scale and judging my worth by what number was reflected back.

They don’t worry about “finding time” to exercise. Or whether they “should” have a 2nd piece of bread. Their lifestyle is simpler and easier in that respect.  They work hard.  And they play when they can.

So I’m thinking something needs to change. I’m not sure what. Or maybe this is just a phase. Either way, I’m discontent. And at my age, I don’t want that anymore. I want....more.


No comments:

Post a Comment