Relax, would ya?

My continuing challenge to myself in this journey is to learn to take some "me" time and relax.  That means some times I just need to chill out without getting up and doing something.  My mind works at about 1,000 miles a minute, and I find that I am constantly thinking about things I "should" be doing.

As we all know, maintaining a healthy lifestyle involves BALANCE.  This really and truly does elude me.  

Love this quote!  But knowing it and putting it into practice are two different things!

So today, I wore up and motivation was on vacation.  These are days that Fat Jen comes out to play.  But finally, reluctantly, I got dressed for a long run.  As I was headed out the door the rain started.  I don't mind running in rain, but this was torrential down-pouring rain.  Because I run on the roads it becomes an issue of safety as well as wetness and unpleasantness.

Fat Jen was delighted.  And she made us wait a short time to see if the rain would pass over and to give herself time to convince us not to run.  But then Thin Jen reminded us of the treadmill in the basement.  Yuck.  But we headed down.  I had intended on running 13 today.  I made it 11 before I had to surrender.  

Why do treadmill miles SUCK so bad??!!

So then, after lunch, it was still pouring.  Tomorrow is a special day - which I'll talk about tomorrow, and I decided I would treat myself.  So I went in for my first pedicure of the year.  I can't believe how difficult it was for me to just sit there and relax while getting the pedicure.  At one point while the guy was getting my one foot out of the water, it felt like we were playing tug-o-war with my leg!

I had to CONCENTRATE on relaxing and turning my mind off.  It was not easy.

On a side note, I've only had a handful of pedicures in my life.  All of the places around here are run by Chinese people who talk to each other in - surprise, surprise - Chinese.  This used to cause me tremendous anxiety because I was POSITIVE that they were talking about having to do my disgustingly fat feet.  I probably should have been more paranoid today, since my runner's feet are pretty tore up as they say - calluses, blisters, etc. - but I was not concerned about that at all!

Yay!  Pretty tootsies!

The other issue, as it always is with me, is justifying spending money on myself.   How do you guys do it?  I actually felt guilty for spending $40 on this non-necessary expense.

We then headed to the mall - it was still raining.  Halfway through the mall, I could see through their skylights that the sun was out.  The anxiety started to kick in - I need to get home!  I have to do wash!  I should be weeding!  I need to check on the chickens!  I should have cleaned the bathroom today!

I never used to stress out about this stuff when I was fat.  I never felt guilty for sitting around for 2 hours playing Spades on the computer.  Yet another way I am a work in progress!!