Monday, July 29, 2013

An auspicious occasion!

One year ago I stepped on the scale and, for the first time ever (well since I was a CHILD) I saw the number 119.  This meant 2 wonderful, unbelievable, life altering things:  I had lost 225 pounds and, more importantly, I had hit my goal weight.

I can remember that day so clearly.  I stood there for so long, processing, that the scale turned off.  I then, with shaky excitement, ran out to tell Marc.  This was it, a new chapter of my life was about to begin.

In the next few days after that amazing day, I vacillated between confidence bordering on arrogance and utter terror.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, then you have witnessed my physical and emotional ups and downs since that day.  As far as my weight goes, in the last year, the lowest I have seen is 113 - and that was after a 14 mile run, so it wasn't "real".  The highest I've seen is 130 - which was after a huge meal which followed a couple of days of vacation indulgence, so that also wasn't real.  For the most part I've hovered right around 118-120.

Today I stepped on the scale and it read:

  So that means I have been successful in maintaining my weight loss for a year.  And that means that I have once again defied the odds.  Losing 225 pounds on my own defied the odds. Statistically being able to maintain weight loss for 1 year - the odds are pretty dismal, but yet here I am. 

I wish I could now say "I got this!" and just forget that for many years I was morbidly obese.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to never look at a label again to see how many calories something has?  But I am neither that naive nor delusional.  This journey will never end.

Having said that, as Gayle pointed out - I'm not a puppy anymore.  I have skills that have brought me this far and have kept me right where I am "supposed" to be.  With all the fear, whining, self-pity, self-sabotage, pain, tears, self-doubt, beating myself up and other drama over this past year, I ended up exactly where I want to be!!

Time to stretch my "big dog" legs.  Time to live this new life!  Not without awareness for sure, but free of some of my self-imposed bonds.

Can I do it?  Wish me luck, cuz here I go!!!


  1. Congratulations wish I had a 1 year pin to give you. Another milestone under your belt.And yea I think you can run with the BIG DOGS and get off the porch!
    We sure learn a lot in this THING called MAINTENCE. Mostly that we need to work on the moderation thing....I like being in control and for me I am having to face some foods I have NO control around. And am finding I MUST just not start with them..others I can moderate.
    At the moment I am really stressing I have been having a really BAD week of pain..think its my PERIPHERAL NEUOPATHY flaring its ugly head,can not sleep,run or anything hurts all the time.
    I have 2 days of work coming up...pure hell...upside my son and family are coming for a visit at the end of the week. From WA state.

  2. You got this! Congrats on your anniversary.

  3. Wow, down 225 lbs??? That is so amazingly awesome!!

    I've managed to maintain my considerably more modest 25+ lb loss for over two years now. It's just 1/9 of your loss, but I also have a seemingly paranoid view about going back to my peak weight. I still track calories obsessively, and I periodically remind myself that every extra pound makes me 2 seconds/mile slower when I run. . . .

  4. Hey - a friend from 3FC here. Take a look again at the scale picture you posted - specifically, in the upper left corner, examine the reflection. My eyes might be playing tricks on me - but, it might be something you didn't mean to post. :)

    1. OH. MY. GOD. Bwahhhaaaaahha Thanks for being observant and letting me know!!!