Saturday, February 16, 2013

Flashback: 2010

I've mentioned a number of times that I don't know why I finally started this journey and became successful at it.  Unlike many people out there, I never had seriously tried to lose weight before.  But it was 2010 when all the pieces fell into place and I started my battle.

One of things that happened was that I collapsed at work and had to be taken out on a stretcher and placed in an ambulance.  I realized last night that this week was the anniversary of that happening.  Once again, for those that might not know, the collapsing had nothing whatsoever to do with my weight.  It was an inner ear thing and I ended up being perfectly fine.

But it was scary.  I remember laying there on the stretcher feeling embarrassed, scared and so, so, so sick and miserable.  Because I was projectile vomiting, I remember the ambulance crew asking me what I had eaten that day.  Believe it or not, I remember - I had a soft pretzel with melted cheese and a yogurt parfait from Target!  I told them believing that the only reason they were asking was because I was so fat.  I was scared that I was so heavy that they would drop me when loading me into the ambulance because I was so heavy.  

In the few weeks that followed, I had to see my primary care doctor and weighed in at 344.  I had to get an MRI - in an "open" machine - not because I was scared to being closed in, but because I could not fit in the regular MRI machine.  I also remember concerned friends and family members saying that I needed to "take care of myself" and I knew they meant I should lose weight and I was angry and ashamed and I reminded them that it was an inner ear disorder and nothing I could have done anything about.

How much these events motivated me to change my life, I honestly can't say.  But it did mark the beginning of me taking baby steps to become the person I am today.
How things have changed!  That time in my life seems eons ago in one respect and like it happened yesterday in another.

Yesterday 5 of us took a long trip in 1 vehicle.  I was thinking about us going and wondering if I could have the front seat so that we all wouldn't be squished in the back.  Then I remembered - I was actually the thinnest one on the trip so they wanted me in the back seat so there would be plenty of room!  

So it has been 3 of the hardest and most rewarding 3 years of my life.  I wonder what that person that I was then would say now if I went to her in the hospital where she was lying - absolutely miserable - and told her that she was in for some tough times, but 3 years from now her life would be radically different...

Where will you be 3 years, 5 years, 10 years from now?



  1. Wow, I saw your blog link on the 3fc forum and clicked over. This was the first post of yours I read. This gives me hope that I can get to where I need to be, even though it seems SO far away right now. Thank you.

    1. You are welcome and yes, you can do this!! Focus on accomplishing something every day and before you know it you will hit your goal!!