Monday, August 27, 2012

Getting treated differently...

I have been asked to talk about how people in general treat me from when I was obese to now when I am thin.  You know, it's been said before, but I think it is true.  Fat people seem to be the last group of people you can blatantly make fun of in public without it being "politically incorrect".  And I certainly experienced that when I was obese.  

That type of being made fun of is usually done in whispers and in stares.  And it is completely and totally humiliating.  I always pretended that it never got to me.  I would make some joke or blow it off.  If anyone ever did make a remark to me, I often had a catty response for the person who said it like "I can diet, what are you going to do about your face?" type thing.  One time in Walmart I had just come back from calling hours from a relative that passed away.  I was feeling pretty shitty anyway.  Two young 20 something girls I caught giggling and looking at me.  I made sure to come around the corner where they were and SLAMMED my cart right into one of them.  With a voice dripping in sarcasm I said "Oh, geez, I am SO SORRY."  That was how I dealt with my anger and hurt.

Some of this was real and some is what was made up in my head when I was fat.  Every single time there was a group of people whispering around me, I KNEW that they had to be talking about me.  Of course this is not true, but when you get made fun of, and it cuts so deep you are constantly on the lookout.

When you are fat, you deal with things that other people don't understand - flying is a nightmare - having to ask for a seatbelt extender, wondering if they are going to pull you aside and made you buy 2 tickets?  I only wanted to go to restaurants I was familiar with, because if they have non adjustable booths, I sometimes couldn't fit.  How about giving up roller coasters because you are afraid they won't be able to buckle you in.  This was my reality.  And knowing that the waitress or attendant was either disgusted or pitied me - both versions SUCKED.

So do people treat me differently now?  Of course.  Part of this is because I look so different, and I'm sure part of it is that I am so much more confident now.  When I walk into a room, I strut into a room.  I don't slink in hoping that no one will stare in a nasty way.  I think that I get more attention and more respect when I say things, especially from people that don't know me.  Let me tell you, part of that makes me sad, because I am no smarter or dumber then I was when I was fat, but it is reality.  

Let's not forget to talk about this - I am experiencing what hot women no doubt have experienced their whole lives - male attention.  I know that when some women lose weight they become uncomfortable with the attention they receive from men.  I don't enjoy it, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable, either.  I'm not talking about  men yelling things or making catcalls - I do experience that on occasion, especially when I'm out running.  I'm talking about just walking by and noticing men giving me the up and down look.  Or them giving me a smile and a flirty hello when they walk by me on the street.  And I'll tell you, I get the door opened for me a HELL of a lot more now then when I was obese.

Like I said, some of this is really a sad commentary on our society.  But it is a reality and having people be nice to you and treat you with respect - it happens when you are thinner. 

If you are reading this and are still obese, know that you don't deserve to be treated like crap - by ANYONE.  Throw your shoulders back and own your life.  Being treated better by people will be a side effect of getting thin.  But you are a worthy human being and should be treated based on who you are as a person, not on your size.  Everyone might not see this, but I do!  Love yourself and get thin for that reason, not because society deems it!!


  1. Just want to say "I told you so" about the cat calls!!!!

    Love ya- Sue

    1. I had a bunch of City workers actually all stop working and just stood there and watched me run by the other day. It was very weird!

  2. Hi it's Cath...Such a moving post...I'm still obese and have lost 13 pounds now. I experience everything you talk about, especially the booths in restaurants. In fact I was just talking on MFP with someone who was elated she could finally fasten her seatbelt on an airplane without an extender....I've mentioned your site to many on may be seeing an increase in your readership. I will always be your loyal follower! :)

  3. Glad you liked the post - it's something I feel pretty passionate about!

    Thanks for promoting my blog, I appreciate it!

    Congrats on the weight loss Cath and keep up the good work!!