Soooooooo..... after hitting my goal weight on Saturday, it's been quite a week. The thought of increasing my calories - which will need to happen in order for me to maintain instead of continuing to lose - has been really sending me off the deep end. On Tuesday, I ordered from a vending machine here at work what I THOUGHT was a raspberry flavored coffee. Turns out that it was a MOCHA coffee. As soon as I tasted it, I knew it was extremely sweetened, but I drank it anyway. Then I had a complete MELTDOWN because I didn't know how many calories I just injested. I seriously threw myself into a total panic. It was really weird to have this happen now. I never had these moments when I was like 250 pounds. I'm not totally sure what that was about.
And I'm doubting whether 119 should be my goal. I'm wondering if I should lose a few more pounds. I want someone to tell me what my PERFECT weight is. Logically and rationally I know there is no such thing, but I am a very concrete person and that's what I'm looking for. I think that I look pretty good now, and I feel good, but how do I know I wouldn't look and feel better at 115?
On the other side of this, is people like Marc, my mother, and my sister-in-law indicating their fear that I will lose too much weight. I'm definitely not anywhere near that, in my opinion. I have a doctor's appointment at the end of this month, and I'm going to ask his opinion, but again, it's not like he can tell me what exact weight to be. Plus, my weight can fluctuate greatly from day to day - 4 pounds or so.
It's going to take me a while to get this figured out in my head, so I beg everyone for their patience while I do this!!