Thursday, June 28, 2012

The question/comment that I HATE!

Since I started losing weight, I can't tell you how many absolutely STUPID questions and comments have been said to me and about me.  Recently - not to my face - it was commented that I am "obsessed" with exercise and losing weight and that I need an intervention.  I also had someone comment behind my back (to someone they clearly didn't know was close to me) that I am a liar, because "everyone knows" that it is IMPOSSIBLE to lose this much weight through diet and exercise and I MUST have had surgery and should just admit it.  

Most of these things don't bother me all that much.  If someone thinks I'm a liar, fine.  People who know me know the truth.  But there are 2 comments that absolutely drive me crazy.  In second place is this one:  "You must feel so much better, don't you?"  And in first place - it makes me cringe every time - is "You are a whole different person!"  I think people mean well when they say these things.

BUT I think they bother me so much because it makes an assumption that all fat people are sedentary, lazy, stupid, and completely unhealthy.  Now don't get me wrong - some fat people fit that description - as do some SKINNY people!!  But that is NOT true for many fat people.  I was active.  I was not dealing with a lot of health issues.  I walked the dogs and gardened and all kinds of things.  And guess what?  I am the SAME EFFING PERSON now that I was when I was fat.  Yes, my priorities are different and I made some hard choices and worked my ass off.  BUT it was in me all the time, or I wouldn't have been able to do it.

I know I AM healthier now.  And I have made changes.  BUT, I am me.  My intelligence, my personality - it's all the same.  I am just thinner now.  

I hope all this makes sense.  I would love to see some comments about what you guys think about this post!!  Please let me know!!


  1. I agree! I lost 85 and I was always around 125 before I had my kids. After kids I was around 210. So people who didn't know me before kids are like..."I wouldn't even recognize you". Its strange bc I am just back to who I always was. Except I'm old and my skin sags;)

    And the feeling better comment...Its funny because in some ways I DON'T feel better. I do obsess about my weight now and I used to not care as much. It was easier that way. I sometimes feel tired because of all the exercise. I guess I am more energetic(maybe) but its not like I just sat on my ass all day before.


  2. Part of what you have said is true, however I feel the need to respond because I may have been guilty of saying some of those things to you. Not about the obsession with exercise or that it couldn't be done without surgery, because I know how hard you have worked to lose the weight and I am so proud of you. I brag about you all the time.
    However, you are a different person in some ways. Yes, you are still the smart, strong-willed person I have known since you were little, but this weekend I saw another side of you that was not there before. You are more confident and helpful, as you yourself said. So, maybe you aren't totally different, but I think most of the time when people make that comment, they only mean it as a compliment about the changes you have made as a result of your weight loss.
    Forget the people who talk behind your back--we all know that happens to all of us, and be thankful for the people who are genuinely thrilled for you and support your new lifestyle. (And don't be mad at me for saying all this!)

  3. Well... As Aunt Karla said... I too have been guilty of asking you your 2nd most hated question... "You must feel so much better!" Yes, I have said that to you a dozen times - you should have told me to SHUT UP! I only said that because that is that way I THINK I will feel when I do get thinner... even if only by a few pounds! LOL!

    Seriously Jen... I am so very proud of your accomplishments... you are continuing to do an awesome job and have the ability to keep the weight off... kudos!

    Love ya... (I won't ask that question ever again!!)

  4. I am not mad at either of you and love you both. I know that both of you are 2 of my biggest fans - whether I deserve it or not!!

    Love you both!

  5. 78 pounds loss I get that famous "you must feel so much better" comment as well and that they don't recognize me, but I look at it all as compliments. I try to see nothing in the negative light as far as my accomplishments with my weight loss. Now my tummy tuck surgery is three days away. I am not feeling guilty for taking this time for myself as well as putting this much money into myself as well...but I am surrounded by love and support from friends and family...and even those who might not "think before they speak" I know they mean well. Jennifer you should be nothing but proud and that is all that matters!!! I inboxed you on facebook...just in case you have time...would appreciate any guidance you have. Take care!

  6. Thanks Kathy! I didn't get a message on Facebook from you - would love to answer questions/support you!

  7. I sent you a friend request

  8. there are so many people who are so jealous of other people's accomplishments. If they say bad things about you then it makes them feel better about themselves. People who say negative things about your accomplishments are usually feeling pretty bad about their lack of accomplishments.