Tuesday, June 19, 2012

This IS reality, right?

Haven't posted in a couple days.  Been working hard weeding the vegetable garden -  it is TERRIBLE this year for some reason!  I also ran my longest run ever on Sunday - 9 miles.  I was pretty excited!

So I was talking about this with Marc the other day and I don't know how to explain this without sounding crazy!  I guess part of this is just making the adjustment.  I've been through tremendous changes in the past 2 years and I've said before that my mind hasn't caught up to all these changes yet.

I realized on Sunday that I haven't accepted that the new me really IS the new ME!  It is as if I've been given a chance to experience someone else's life and it can suddenly be taken away.  Like when I put on a bikini - it's like it's not really how I really look, rather it's like it's my head temporarily on someone else's body.  Every time - and I mean EVERY TIME - I take a shower, I go to lift up the fat/skin on my stomach to wash under it.  Then I notice it's not there.  It's weird.

Today while running, I ran past some guys who were working on the underground lines in the City.  Every freaking one of them stopped working and just watched me run by.  It took me a minute to realize that they were probably checking me out - not making fun of me. 

And then there's the comments about me being tiny.  I don't really know how to respond to this.  Some people who knew me at my heaviest have been making that comment for months now - when I was a lot smaller then I used to be, but not "tiny" by any stretch of the imagination.  Now, I think that it is true - I am a small boned person and now the flesh matches the bones - so how the heck do I respond?

Anyway, the last few pounds that I want to lose are hanging on for dear life.  I really would like to shed them and begin practicing maintenance before fall hits when I want to start The New Rules of Weight Lifting for Women.

1 comment:

  1. Yes girl, this is reality!! You have come such a long way! Own every bit of your success! You are the truth!!! :)
    Wishing you a wonderful weekend!!!