Tuesday, March 6, 2018

I hate me, too!

I have really been working on ramping up my running miles.  I continue to be painfully slow, but I am running a lot of miles.  Since the beginning of the year I have run every day with the exception of January 3rd.

Now mind you, most of these miles have been treadmill miles.  There is definite value in these miles but they just don't compare with the toughness - for me anyway - of running outside.  Remarkably I am ( knock on the biggest piece of wood ever) injury free.  I think this is a first, as I ALWAYS seem to have some injury.  I told Marc I just want to run while I can - without pain and feeling good.  Because historically I find a way to get hurt.

So I'm putting in about 50 miles or more a week.  And still trying to bike and lift weights.  Friday there was a storm and work was closed, so I got in 10 miles.  Another 10 on Saturday and 13 on Sunday.

Backing up, I should let you know that Saturday was Marc and my 13th wedding anniversary.  We had a gift certificate for Texas Roadhouse.  I wish I could tell you I ate sensibly, but I did not.  I could brag about choosing corn and salad as my side dishes, but I would also need to confess the amount of their amazing rolls I scarfed or the number of peanuts I ate...

I managed to only feel somewhat guilty.  

Lunch time arrived today and it was pretty chilly outside but mostly sunny.  I knew I should get outside and run but I really didn't want to. Finally I convinced myself to just get out and start.  My legs felt heavy and the whole time I was strugging physically and mentally.  I decided to call it when I arrived back towards work at only just over 4 miles.  Complete with self-recriminations about sucking at life and giving up.

As I was turning off my watch and taking off my headphones, I see someone who works in the next building who I interact with quite a bit.  She looks at me and growls "I HATE YOU!!!" I expressed shock and then, of course, she went on to say how it made her feel guilty seeing me finishing up a run.

It is all relative, isn't it? What is success to one person is failure to another.  It shows that we all face our own demons.  In fact I was just talking with someone about that... to be continued...

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