Et tu?

I was talking to a young, really fit guy today.  He and I have had conversations in the past about working out and running and eating right, etc. He usually exercises in the morning and I’ve admired his dedication.

I’ve seen him eat his lunch before and it always seems to be really healthy things like sweet potato with lean chicken.  And I’ve never seen him indulge in the “goodies” that float about.  

Because I am the drama queen that you all know and love, I always assume that it is SO HARD for me, but SO EASY for everyone else. I especially assume this about young men like him that it always seems can eat endless amounts of food and not gain an ounce.

He was telling me the difficulties in working out outside starting this time of year when the sun comes up so late and it is so cold in the mornings. 

He further went on to talk about how at one point he was really dedicated to running and was taking supplements to build muscle and was very concerned about his fitness and appearance. I was unaware of this, but he also has a bad family history when it comes to heart issues and his cholesterol is apparently quite elevated. He told me after one doctor’s appointment he was determined to get his cholesterol down and for 3 months religiously worked out and did not waiver from a healthy diet AT ALL.

He went back and got his cholesterol tested and guess what? NO CHANGE!! He talked about how incredibly discouraging and frustrating that was - and I sure the hell could identify with that!!

He said that he has come to a place now where he’s not into the supplements any more. He said that he knows that he will gain weight during the winter months and have to work to lose it in the spring. He said that he started to realize that he needs to enjoy life - what is the point of being healthy and extending your life if you don’t enjoy it?  So, he said that he is going to eat a cookie once and a while and have that piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving and enjoy it without stressing over making a “bad choice”. Once again - here he was singing my song.

As you guys know, this is exactly where I’m trying to get to, mentally.   It really is a struggle, though.  For example, yesterday Marc had to take his father to get some blood drawn and I decided to take the boys out for a short run. We ended up running 5 miles. Later in the day Marc and I decided to go hiking and got in another 7 miles. And despite my complete inability to cook, I tried making a homemade vegetable soup - without a recipe!! (Don’t laugh - that is a pretty big deal for me!) I was pretty happy with my choices that day and told myself that I am doing okay.

Of course, after feeling that last night, I then get up this morning and get dressed for work and look in mirror and am so dismayed with how horrible I look. It really is a never ending battle it seems....but maybe one day, I will just be okay with me…maybe?