Why do I even CLICK it?

I can’t be the only one who does this, can I?

Looking at all these DECADENT recipes that people post of Facebook for all KINDS of deliciousness. Cakes and cookies and pies and all kinds of other things that look SO GOOD.

And invariably I click on the recipe and it calls for TONS of butter and sugar - for fuck’s sake I actually clicked on one the other day that called for lard. LARD!!! I didn’t even know people still used that!!

And then, follow this up with me actually being ANGRY at the recipe or the person who posted it, for posting something that I am not allowed to eat.

It is TRULY a blessing that I can’t cook. Otherwise I might be tempted to make some of these things!!

And then those SONS OF BITCHES have the NERVE to post that one serving is only 250 calories. And then you look and a little TINY cake is supposed to make 12 servings! Are you kidding? In what UNIVERSE would someone eat only 1/12 of that??

In other news, I am just having a terrible time with motivation. AGAIN I have not run since my run with the dogs on Sunday. I have been working out, but not running.

And I feel guilty. Like I owe someone an apology. Who? Yeah - got me.

Yesterday I saw a woman that I used to work with a lot who is now stationed elsewhere so I haven’t seen her in a long time.  She was very supportive of me when I was losing weight.

She asked how I was doing and I admitted that I am having a very rough time.

This is what she said “You know when you walked by I thought to myself that you were probably really upset at gaining a few pounds but you really look great – I think you had gotten too thin, and your face, your legs, everything looks so good now.  So if you can maintain where you are that’s wonderful, because you really do look so good!”

This is what I heard “I saw when you walked by how amazingly fat you are getting again.  It really is obvious how much porkier every single part of you looks.  I hope you don’t gain any more, because you once looked okay and now…. not so much….”