Listening to yourself...

For so long I've placed demands on myself.  I had to run a certain amount of miles per week.  I must not eat certain things.  

Then I radically started to ease up on these demands and we all know what happened.  I've been gaining weight like crazy.  

And then yet another change of attitude and change of doing things in an attempt to find some stability.  

I feel like I'm having some success with listening to myself and trying to be more in tune with my body and my surroundings.  I have felt pretty good.  How much credit goes to the new thyroid supplement I've been trying?  I don't really know, but something has changed - in my energy and in my feelings.  

But as I mentioned the other day - I've totally fallen off the wagon running wise.  I haven't wanted to run at all.  I've been lifting weights and doing other exercising, but the thought of running has actually made me sick.

So with lots of guilt I haven't run.  I went for a full week without running.  Thursday night after work, I took the dogs and we went for some running and walking intervals.  But it was a half-assed effort.

This morning I woke up and was determined to run.  I had to pick some things up for dinner at some point today so I decided to go to a trail near a local Walmart.  Despite the 33 degree temperature I grabbed the dogs and when we got to the trail I looked at it with some weird combination of fear and dread.  I told myself to just start running and see how I felt.

We started running.  And all of a sudden I was actually enjoying myself.  The trail is 2 miles one way.  We got to the end turned around and ran back.  I decided 4 wasn't enough.  We turned around and ran up 1.5 miles and back for a total of 7 miles.  It's the longest the dogs have run straight.  

Wanna see a pic of when they were done?  Sure you do!!

And guess what?  Not only is this the farthest that they have run - it's the farthest I have run since partially tearing my Achilles in late May!!

I guess I needed I short break.  And the world didn't come to a stop.  I didn't FORGET how to run.  My fitness level didn't plummet.  

I hope that this is a small symbol of good things to come.  I hope that I can listen to myself and it will have positive results.  

At some point - at least I hope - I will get to a point where my weight and my attitude stabilizes.  2015 has meant a lot of turmoil for me, and I am hoping to get some momentum that will carry me in to 2016 and beyond!!