Motivation....

Ah, motivation!  She is one fickle mistress, isn't she?  Why is it that we have moments of complete motivation and inspiration and then - in a heartbeat - it can fly away from us??

Motivation has completely abandoned me this week.  Since Easter, I've had a terrible time getting back on track.  For one thing, I have been completely and totally out of my routine.  I don't deal with change well and don't make the best choices when faced with unexpected adjustments that need to be made. 

So even something good - like hitting the mall while I was in Syracuse for my doctor's appointment - that throws me for a loop.  Yesterday I started off motivated and down right determined to be back on plan.  And what happened?  By 11AM I had already jumped completely off plan.  And while I was doing it, I was telling myself that I shouldn't be eating this, and I continued to do it anyway!!

I know how this dance works.  But it doesn't make it any easier.  When you sit there knowing that you NEED to get off your ass and do something but every part of your being doesn't want to?  

This is where commitment comes in, right?  I have forced myself to exercise even though I haven't wanted to.  And that's what you have to do sometimes.  I wish I could say that every single day I look at bad foods and am not tempted by them at all.  I wish that I could tell you that every time it comes time to exercise that I can't wait and just enthusiastically go for it.  But I can't - it would be a lie.

All these quotes that you read like:

Yeah, right.  Sometimes that piece of chocolate cake tastes WAYYYYY better then thinking about being a size 2!!!

So it's Friday.  I'm not waiting until Monday to get back on track.  Nope.  Right now.  I'm on plan.  And I'll be okay.  Because I am commited - even if that bitch motivation doesn't join me!  She'll be back - I've seen her leave before, but she always comes back.