Food - my old enemy!

I would like to say that in this journey of 2 years that I have developed a healthy relationship with food.  But it's not true and it's never going to be true.  I eat very healthy now.  BUT, I could EASILY stuff several pieces of pizza, a pint of ice cream, and a bunch of french fries down my throat right now!

When I'm in a routine, things are easier.  But since the surgery I haven't been in a routine.  Add to that I'm not burning 500+ calories per day through exercise, and it makes things even more tough.  I've been doing really well eating good things, but I worry about portion control.

I am absolutely terrified of gaining weight back.  As of today, I am down 3.5 pounds from the day of surgery.  That's not too bad.  I am still swelling and there are lots of things going on in my body that makes it not want to lose any weight.  

I know that realistically, even if I gain a couple pounds, I have the tools and techniques to take it off again.  But I tend to be an all or nothing thinker.  I believe that if I put on 2 pounds, that will lead to 50, and that thought is just so scary.

So I'll continue with the fruits and veggies and try to keep everything else in check.  Wish me luck!

ZAP!

I am the type of person that researches the hell out of things.  It can be annoying at times, but in cases like this it is good.  Because I have read things in advance from other people who have had this procedure done so that things don't freak me out when they happen - I know that they are normal.

When they do this surgery obviously a lot of nerves are cut.  Some nerves go completely dead and will stay dead.  But most nerves learn to regenerate.  About 3 days after the surgery, Marc was putting lotion on me, and the weirdest thing happened - he was rubbing lotion in the area just under my belly button and I could see him doing it, but I felt NOTHING!  Not a thing.  It was just so weird.  

My nerves are starting the process of regenerating and let me tell you what it feels like - I can be sitting, walking, whatever, and off of a sudden I'll feel a ZAP shoot across an area of my abdomen.  It usually makes me wince, even though it doesn't exactly hurt, it's like someone just gave me a mild shock.  The human body is just amazing.  I already have some feeling in that area that was previously dead.

In other news, we hiked 4 miles a Wehle State Park yesterday.  As ordered I went really slow - the dogs were annoyed while on leash (Why you walking so slow, Mom?) but fortunately they could be off leash most of the time and got a great run in.

I continue to heal well - actually the sorest part of me right now is on both sides near the hips.  That's where most of the liposuction was done and you can see yellowish purple fading bruises.  The compression garment presses right on there making it sore.

The importance of support.

Yesterday, my co-worker Jessie stopped by after work.  She had bought me a really cool bracelet with an inspirational saying on it.  She and 2 other co-workers had also chipped in for a gift card for me, plus she had a card from another group of co-workers.  How awesome is that?   Not to mention the plant my grandmother sent me, plus both my mother and sister-in-law bringing dinner for us during my recuperation!

I feel so incredibly lucky in the support I have gotten.  Not from just this surgery but over the last 2 years of losing weight and the trials and tribulations of learning to become a runner and learning to adjust to healthy eating patterns.  Everyone in my life has been so supportive, from family, to co-workers, to complete strangers I "met" on the internet, the amount of support has been almost overwhelming at times.  I can't imagine how sick and tired people must get of me talking about weight loss and calories and exercise!

When I was contemplating this surgery, I expected at least someone to say something rude to me about it, since it is, after all, cosmetic surgery.  I truly believe that it is my fault that I ended up so fat, so I don't expect accolades for losing the weight.  Wouldn't it have been better if I never got so fat in the first place?  Then I wouldn't have even needed surgery!  But most people don't see it that way- at least they don't voice it to me. 

Of course my biggest support is my husband, Marc.  I will never be able to repay the support he has given me over the last 2 years.  He loved me when I was at my heaviest, he loves me now, and he loved me at every stage in between.  AND he has had to put up with a lot in general during this journey, and then add on all he has had to do for me while I am mending.  

Since I have been on a lot of weight loss support sites, plus talking to people in my life that are trying to make life changes, I have an idea of what it is like when friends and family don't support big changes.  It makes the change 10 times harder.  

I am a big believer in KARMA, so I hope that all the good that is bouncing back to me during this time means that I've got good karma that I've put into the universe and I promise the universe that I will continue to be the very best person I can possibly be.

And to everyone who has supported me, THANK YOU!

Drain removal

I've had a couple people ask me about the drain removal and whether it hurt.  The first drain removed was the one that was bothering me so much and that slid out like a hot knife through butter - no issues at all.  The second one from my pubic area also came right out.  The third one she pulled and it got stuck on a stitch, and that hurt.  Then she cut the stitch and pulled and YOWZA - that one hurt coming out.  But it is a brief hurt with instant relief that foreign bodies are no longer in your flesh!

You are left with some pretty gross looking holes.  Wanna see - yeah, I KNOW you do!

 Disgusting, huh?  Those 3 holes were covered in gauze with instructions to remove the gauze today and just cover with antibiotic ointment.  They are already closed up a lot this morning.

 

Well I'm off to take my first glorious hot shower in a week!

1 week post-op visit....

Had my first visit since the surgery and I'm delighted to report good news.  Dr. DeRoberts described my 1 week progress as "amazing".  He is extremely happy both at my rate of healing and how his work turned out.  He was shocked that he was able to remove 3 of the 4 drains because things are going so well.  2 that were removed were the ones on the side that were irritated and painful.  The one in front that is left is merely an annoyance.  I was extremely swollen, and found out that I have been wearing my compression garment WAYYYY too loose.  Now that I know how tight it is supposed to be, that should help the swelling.

I confessed my "sin" of walking on the treadmill twice.  He was not upset, just said that people like me really "worry" him because we tend to over-do it because we are feeling so good.  I have complete clearance to walk outside and on the treadmill as much as I want as long as I am WALKING and going SLOW.  Which I was and will.

 

I am going to sleep well tonight because I can now sleep on my side instead of my back!  Yay me!

 

I go back next Tuesday provided I'm not draining too much and will have the last drain removed.  The it's time to shop for a bathing suit!!!

 

I was going to post before and after pics tomorrow, but since there is still a drain in, and because my belly is still swollen I am going to be vain and wait until next week.  I will also be doing measurements to see how many inches I lost in my hips and waist.

 

Oh, and the doc confirmed that he stuffed some fat from my back and sides into my butt area while I was cut open.  This keeps me from having the really flat ass look that a lot of people that get the full circumferential get.  My new belly button is a little bit infected and gross looking so I don't have a true picture of that yet.  They re-covered my incision sites with a different kind of tape, but they said and I could see that the incision looks really great - it's healing well.

 

I am a very happy "skinny bitch" today!!

 

Come on body, cooperate!

I'm getting a little nervous about one of my drains.  It is still outputting quite a bit of fluid and if he tells me he can't remove the drain tomorrow, I may freak the hell out.  It is painful and annoying.  Wanna see? 

Yes, that is correct - it looks like it hurts because it DOES!  So it had about 25 cc of fluid in it today - hopefully if it stays fairly low over the next 24 hours he'll take it out.  2 of the other drains had barely trace amounts and one other was pretty small, so I'm pretty confident he'll take those out.

I'm anxious to see what size clothes I'm in.  Can't try anything on but sweats over these drains.

Not much on the agenda today - at least the sun is out a little but it's still effing cold!   Maybe we'll hit the mall just to get out of the house again.  I've had as much sitting on my ass as I can possibly take!

The land of the living!

Late entry today because I had some visitors this morning, then I washed my hair in the sink, ate lunch and actually ventured out to Walmart and Price Chopper to get some groceries.  I got some strange looks walking a little hunched over and very slow, but there are always people are lot freakier then that in Walmart!!

So yesterday I did hit the treadmill and walked 1.5 whole miles in 45 minutes LOL.  Wanted to make sure I kept to slow and easy.  After I got off there was this weird tingling sensation in my abs.  It wasn't painful just a strange buzzing feeling.  It didn't last long and as far as I can tell there has been no adverse effects, so I might try it again today.  I'm a little worn out though from my trip into Watertown, so we'll see how I feel in 30 minutes or so.

Since the surgery, the incision site - all the way around - has only bothered me right on my tailbone where I sit all the time.  Since I've got drains coming out all over, there's no where else for me to sit.  Now the sides and front are starting to itch really bad.  That has to be a sign of healing, though, so I'm not going to complain.

 I'm anxious for Thursday - not only do I want these drains out, but then the surgeon can take a look and make sure the incisions are healing well and I also want to hear what else he has to say about the surgery itself.

Did I tell you that they took a picture of the fat and skin they removed?  Get ready for a really gross pic, guys, because it's coming!!