Heartbreak…

If you are a reader who also follows my associated Facebook page, you probably know what this post is going to be about.

While I focus on weight loss, exercising and eating right, I have also shared with you guys various aspects of my personal life. And I have some terrible news to share.

On Tuesday night I was laying on the floor playing with the dogs which I often do. I suddenly felt a huge lump under Chakotay’s neck. I began feeling around his whole neck area and my blood felt like it turned to ice as I noticed that every one of the lymph nodes in his neck were hugely swollen and felt like rocks.

If you know anything about Boxers, they are one of the breeds extremely prone to lymph node cancer. I felt sick and terrified.

I didn’t sleep much that night but tried to convince myself that it was allergies or something else - not the dreaded C word.

I headed into work on Wednesday and it was an insanely busy day. I couldn’t concentrate as reality started to set in. I tried to do my work and focus but I felt like I was disconnected from my body.

After work I got home and felt Chakotay’s other lymph nodes and found a swollen one on the back of his leg. I called my vet’s office - who are amazing - and they agreed to squeeze him in right before they closed.

I went in knowing that I needed to know but also dreading what I was going to hear.

The vet confirmed that it is most like cancer. A sample has been sent to pathologists to confirm and the results will come in next week.

Right now, he is acting perfectly normal. He is eating, drinking, playing, and shows no signs of sickness. If it weren’t for feeling the lymph nodes, you wouldn’t know anything was wrong.

But the prognosis is very bleak.

And my heart is breaking into a million pieces.