A review of the month...

Ok, so let's review the month!  Remember back on January 1st?  Remember being SO motivated?  Remember saying "This is my year!  This is when it is finally going to happen!!"  Are you still there?  Or have you fallen off mentally?  Did you lose the amount this month that you wanted to?  Did you stick to your goals?

Whether the answer is yes or no, tomorrow starts a new month.  So if you have fallen apart, it's time to start back.  TOMORROW.  Not Monday after the Superbowl.  RIGHT FREAKING NOW.

So pull out that goal sheet or open that file and look at your goals.  Track how much weight you have lost.  Take some measurements.  No beating yourself up no matter what.  Tomorrow is a new day.  

Where do you stand on your goals?  Is it time to revise them?  Are you right on track?  What needs to be modified?  Tajke a look at that NOW so you can start tomorrow.

Here's where I stand:

• Eating: I have pretty much gotten down to the weight I'm happy at.  However, I have not stablized my eating patterns.  Sometimes I don't eat enough during the day and I get home and am STARVING.  Which means I start snacking.  Now I snack on good things, like raisins.  BUT those calories can add up quick and I don't think it's a healthy pattern.  I need to consider eating a little more during the day, and then cutting back on dinner.
• Exercise:  I'm pretty psyched about this!  I have exercised EVERY SINGLE DAY since January 1st! I've mixed it up from running, to DVD's, to weight lifting, to yoga!  And out of the 31 days, 27 of them I worked out twice totaling 90-120 minutes.  So I'd say I'm right on track with this!!  
• Organization:  This remains an ongoing challenge, but I'd definitely doing better then I was last year.  So this goal remains in effect!
• Doggie love:  I've been making a strong effort to be more involved and loving with my doggies.  They are spoiled incrediibly rotten, but an extra stroke here or there means so much to my boys!  I've been doing pretty well, but I think that I can improve.  Sometimes when I'm exhausted and just want to relax, them sticking their heads in my face with a toy - I tell them to go entertain themselves rather then engaging with them.  Must do better!

So, that's where I am on some of my goals.  I hope you are all ready to continue this journey and explore where you are.  I'd love to hear how you are doing!!

Amaze yourself!

Yesterday was a good day.  I was feeling really worn out and pissy on Monday for some reason, but I got my mojo back yesterday.

After a day of snow Monday, it began to melt yesterday and I went out and ran at lunch.  All the sidewalks were still covered in snow, so I stuck to side roads and ran along the road.  Because of the melting, I ended up running in ankle deep slush.  I ran 6 miles and when I got back to work, my feet were DRENCHED and the back of my leggings were soaked up to the mid thigh. 

BUT here's the good news - my left knee - which originally had the IT Band issue - did not peep once during the 6 miles.  And I have been wearing the IT Band strap on my right leg, and usually about 5 miles in it feels twingey and then when I'm done and take off the strap it hurts a little.  I wore the strap yesterday and no issues at all, plus no pain when I took the strap off, so YAY!

I started thinking to myself after the run yesterday about the person that I have become.  When did it get EASY to go out and run 6 miles?  Seriously.  I mean 6 miles was not hard at all, and despite the conditions, I still finished in under 52 minutes, without even pushing it.

This goes along with something else that happened.  I ran across an "old" picture of myself from 3-4 years ago on my computer at work and showed it to a couple of co-workers.  Both of them said the same thing - they didn't remember me being that size.  I mean, obviously they HAVE to remember when I was fat, but now they must just think of me as this size and can't believe I ever weighed as much as I did.  

In some ways I don't is remember that either and in some ways it  so clear in my mind - did I really have to lift up my stomach to wash my myself in the shower?  Did my stomach really touch the steering wheel of my vehicle when I drove?  Did a towel not fit around me at one time?  Did I really have to worry about not fitting in booths at restaurants?  I could go on and on!

This new life that I have worked for is AMAZING.  It isn't perfect, but it is glorious.  And guess what?  It is there for you too!!!  Keep working and striving - I want so badly for you all to feel as good as I do, and I know you can!  So don't stop - not for a minute!   

Self Doubt

How many of you out there struggle with self-doubt?  Sometimes I'm cruising along thinking I'm doing well and all of a sudden self-doubt creeps in!

For example, you remember when I met with that nutritionist and she told me that 117 was my "ideal weight"?  Well as I mentioned, my weight has been up some, and finally this weekend it dropped down to 117 and the last 2 days I've been at 117-118.  So you'd think I'd be happy, right?

But I'm on that weight loss site and there is a section under each person's name where you can put your  height, starting weight, your current weight and your goal weight.  So yesterday I was reading this one woman's post and I noticed that she lists her height as 5'5" and her goal weight is 120.  That puts her at a BMI of 20.8.  And my BMI is 22.1.  So this nagging little voice in my head starts telling me that this is too high of a BMI.  I check and I would have to lose another 7 pounds and weigh 110 to be at a BMI of 20.8.  I started wondering if I should try to lose some more weight.

WHY do I do this to myself?  I feel good at 117.  I wear a size 2.  I think I can maintain around this weight.  So WHY OH WHY do I need to compare myself to other people??  

So I have decided that a new goal - well, it's really not even a new goal, but an ongoing goal that I haven't been putting much effort into - is to STOP compaing myself to other people and just to be happy when I feel good!!  

Anyone care to join me on this quest of self-acceptance instead of self-doubt?  The danger, of course, is complacency.  There is a fine line between accepting oneself and justifying unhealthy habits because you aren't comparing yourself to other people.  I think common sense is appropriate here!  

So this is where I stand - I'm okay at my weight.  I DON'T NEED TO LOSE ANY MORE.  I am healthy and strong.  I am smart and capable and I am not defined by a number on a scale.  SO THERE.  Now, if I can just convince myself that these words are true!!  LOL

Choices

First off, thanks to everyone who has "liked" my Facebook page.  Now I just have to get you shy peeps to start POSTING there!  Come on!  Let's see some comments and some progress pictures!  If you read this blog and if you got on the page, it's probably because you like support - this is a community effort!

I'd like to talk today about choices.  Seems like a lot of people are down on themselves due to falling off plan or losing their commitment to a lifestyle change.  It's Monday and by the time we hit the end of the week it will be a new month, so let's take stock of where we are!

Life is a series of choices, and you don't HAVE to do anything.  You don't HAVE to eat healthy.  You don't HAVE to exercise.  You don't HAVE to lose weight.  I believe in person choice and responsibility.  You can do anything you want as long as you're willing to pay the consequences, good or bad!

So what CHOICE are you making today?  Every moment in time gives us the ability to change our personal course of history.  When you walk by the Girl Scout cookies at work today, stopping to have one or choosing to walk on by - either of those is a choice that will yield a result. 

What result do you want?  Are you making choices that will get you the result you seek?  Let's once again do some list making - are you keeping up with this?  Are you making your goal list and reviewing it to see where you are accomplishing something and where you are falling short?

If your answer to this is "no" then I ask "Why not?" 

Facebook

I'd like to remind everyone that I have have a Facebook account associated with this blog.  I'd love for all of you to go to this page, like it, and begin contributing!  You'll be able to post your pics, give your own insights and wisdom, ask questions and interact not with just me, but with other people who read this blog!

So, please go here now and join us!!  And don't just join, get in on the action!!

Ok, so we've arrived at the weekend, YAY!  I am absolutely thrilled to report that I stepped on the scale this morning and saw 117.3.  So I am back down right to the weight I want to be, and where I was before Christmas.  

I don't have much in store for the weekend, but I do need to hit the stores because the cupboards are pretty bare.  I'd really like to take the dogs for a long walk this morning but it is DAMN COLD OUT.  

The boys did get an egg each this morning - CHRIS - this is for you!!

 

If not now, then when?

How is everyone out there doing?  For many of you, it's been just over 3 weeks of a lifestyle change.  Are you hanging in there?  I know for some of you, "diet fatigue" is kicking in, and maybe some of you are losing your motivation.

Remember, LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHERSAL!  If you don't make this change now, when will you do it?  What are you waiting for?  The time is now.  Don't wait one more month, one more day, one more minute to get the life that you want.  Your fate is in your hands, no one else's!   

I'm asking again - if you don't do this now, when will you do it?  If you are not happy about any aspect of your life - your weight, your relationship, your job, it's up to you to change it before life passes you by!  Where are you on your goals?  What is preventing you from moving forward?

AND on the other side of the coin, if you are doing great - CONGRATS!!!!  It's really hard to keep motivation going!  Give yourself a huge pat on the back!

Let's see, what's been going on with me?  It's been a good week, but a tough one - the weather has been incredibly cold here like it has in most of the country.  I left work last night and went and got my hair cut.  When I got home at just after 5 PM it was about -10 degrees.  I went into the house and all I wanted to do was curl up in my sweats under my blanket.  Instead I went into our basement and ran 6 miles on the treadmill.  I felt good afterwards and even better when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that it has finally dropped to 118.  That puts me within my "you're good" range which I've been struggling to get back to.

I'm not trying to say that I'm the example that everyone here has to follow - but it just shows that if you want this bad enough, you DO IT.  

I do have to work a little more on my goal of being more organized - I've really been running out of time in the evenings, and have slacked off a little on my goal of cleaning and organizing at night.  So my plan is to get caught up this weekend and get back at it next week.  

Progress, not perfection, right?  Read this and then do something productive, even if it's only something small!

Perfectionism...

An interesting thing happened yesterday.  I am on a weight loss site where I post regularly and a woman on the site whom I seem to have a lot in common with and whom I have tremendous respect for made a comment about the picture that I posted in my bikini.  She said "...are you a perfectionist, by any chance? You look like one of the fittest beings I've seen lately outside of professional trainers and high-ranking amateur athletes. Your standards for yourself are very, very high."

This comment caught me COMPLETELY off guard and I spent a lot of time thinking about what she said.  I do know that I am pretty fit.  BUT I don't see myself as being THAT in shape that it would stand out.

I have certainly been a perfectionist in lots of areas in my life.  I was thinking about this over the weekend when I was lamenting that the scale is still showing me about 3-4 pounds above where I want to be - I actually realized for the first time (yes, REALLY!) - that I am thinner and more fit than your typical 40 year old American woman.  

Hmmm... I didn't set out for this.  Originally I just wanted to lose some weight.  As the weight started to drop exercise was a means to an end - I didn't want to be extraordinarily fit - I just wanted to burn lots and lots of calories.  And my goal was to fit in booths in restaurants, to shop in regular stores for clothes and not have people stare and make rude remarks either to my face or behind my back.  

Then, as I realized not only was dramatic weight loss possible but that I was actually DOING this, I wanted to get to a "normal" weight.  Then as I arrived at a normal BMI, I decided I wanted to go a little lower.  At no point did I want to become an example of above-average fitness.  I just wanted to continue to maintain my weight loss and look decent.  

So on this weight loss site, this woman - who is also insecure about her appearance and very dedicated to working out - and I are talking about how sustainable this routine is.  I personally work out about 2 hours per day, every day.  How long can I keep this up?  Am I sacrificing activities that make a quality and fun life for sake of my appearance?  Am I somehow "missing out" on things because of my rigidity?  If I loosen up and become "average" can I live with this?

I don't know the answer to these questions.  This is all new territory for me.  I WAS missing out being morbidly obese, but I truly didn't see it at that time and didn't question it.  

Where do you stand on this?  Is your goal to be "average"?  Anyone out there fitness obsessed?