Marc and I were watching a tv show. There was a guy on the show that was talking about his lifestyle. He is in his 30's and has almost no possessions. He lives out of his van. He has a menial job that allows him just enough to afford gas and other upkeep on his vehicle.
He is off the grid so to speak. He doesn’t own a house or have a bank account or a credit card - not even a cell phone! Not because he is one of these paranoid types who think the government is out to get him.
No, he just wants to live this life where he gets up every day and goes out to the mountains and rock climbs and enjoys nature. He rarely worries about time or commitments. He doesn’t stress about his menial job because there are other menial jobs waiting to be had if he loses this one.
He is not tied down to anything. He doesn’t have a fridge and doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from or what he’ll have. He eats when he is hungry. He is incredibly fit from spending his days climbing and hiking and not overeating.
I turned to Marc and said “I would LOVE to live like that!!” We were both quiet for a few moments. “For about 2 weeks...” I admitted and we both laughed. The idea of living this way is so appealing in some ways. But realistically? I like my THINGS. I like a nice pillow top mattress to sleep on. And clearly I like a well stocked fridge. As well as my home and other possessions.
So I was telling my friend about this and she was absolutely horrified. You should have seen the look on her face. It was like I told her I wanted to become a serial killer!!
“You can’t do that!!” She said “You have to have a PURPOSE in life!!”
“Says who?” I asked her.
“Well, you just DO! You can’t just live life without contributing!”
“You sure can!” I insisted. “Look at people who retire and just travel around in an RV - they stay wherever they want for however long they want and then move on. I think that’s awesome!”
“NO. WAY. I would hate that!” My friend said.
I was thinking about this today. Right now I feel as if I am purposeless. I think I help people in my job, but if I were to drop off the face of this earth there would be someone else who could help them. I am so concerned about my weight gain and looking terrible and not running well and the reality is that no one but me is worried about it. And I don’t mean that in the “nobody cares about me way.” I mean that in the way that almost no one (not including my hater ;)) ) thinks more or less of me if I wear a size 6 instead of a size 2. Or if I run an 9:30 mile instead of a 8:00 mile. It’s pretty irrelevant in the scope of life, right?
And yet, I still wake up and obsess about my fat stomach and my lack of self control and how pathetic I am.
Maybe I need a purpose. Or maybe I just need to go find a rock to climb!!