I read an article today. Guess what the DISMAL reality is? 85% of people who achieve major weight loss gain it back. This includes both people who lose weight through medical intervention (such as gastric bypass) as well as those that do it "on their own".
A British doctor was quoted as saying that for people who were obese they seem to be hard wired to eat a certain way and it is virtually impossible to fight this. In additional, their bodies fight WAY more than normal people’s bodies to resist efforts to lose weight. “For reasons that aren’t entirely understood”".”
Oh what happy news on a Monday!!!
As depressing as this is, it also came as a slight relief. I mean I have been spending the last year believing I am a FAILURE. That it is ME who is at fault. That I am defective. If that is true, at least I'm not alone. I am in very good company. There are other people out there - kind hearted wonderful beautiful human beings that struggle and struggle and struggle with what I am struggling with.
The reality is that maybe I am just not made to be thin.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't plan to sell my bike and throw my running shoes away. And I won't be doing what I want to do EVERY SINGLE NIGHT - which is stop on my way home, buy a huge tray of brownies and frantically eat them.
I do want to continue to be healthy. But I am just sick of hating myself and judging myself every single minute of every single day. And let's get real - I'm not going to win any beauty or fitness contests no matter what. So can I accept that it is not in the cards for me to be thin? Tht somewhat chunky is my lot in life?
And if I do that, how do I accept that and be okay with it WITHOUT throwing up my hands and letting myself slide back into obesity?
The fine line people - a line of grey - not an extreme either way - that is a line that I am NOT familiar with!!! Frankly I’m not sure that I have the skills to be in that greyland.
Just thinking about accepting my weight where I’m at makes me feel like I am copping out – taking the coward’s way out. Surrendering because I’m just too fucking lazy to put in the work…